Hogwarts Radio Station
by Faithful Magewhisper
Summary: Why didn't the gargoyle to Dumbledore's office open? Well, because of Dumbledore's not so quite strike. Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! Please review if you want more!
1. Introduction

_**Hogwarts Radio Station**_

Hello, hello, hello!!! And welcome to HRS!!!!!

This is your Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. As you all know I was recently fired and you have a new Headmistress. I disapprove of her.

To proof this I will have this little show on during all her classes. Every day you'll hear a song and I tell you who it is dedicated to and, most importantly, why.

If you have any wishes, send me an owl. They will find me and no one will be able to track them.

Now let the show commence!

The first one off is a dear friend and an incredible woman. No, it's not my wonderful Deputy ... not yet anyway.


	2. Molly Weasley

_**Molly Weasley**_

So here is Cyndi Lauper's 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and a little information on Molly Weasley, née Prewett.

_I come home in the morning light,  
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"  
Oh,mother,dear,  
We're not the fortunate ones,  
And girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh,girls,  
Just wanna have fun.  
_

Well, well, well, who would have thought Molly Prewett had really been such an adventurous girls.

One night she went out with Arthur Weasley, coming back home at about 2 o'clock in the morning. She had a HUGE love bite on her neck. Naturally her mother was not amused. Arthur couldn't come near their place for fear of being jinxed.

Flashback:

Molly met Arthur in London after his work. It was a surprise and Arthur started terribly when she placed her hands over his eyes from behind and asked him who she was. Arthur turned around and kissed her passionately as an answer.

"I hope you don't kiss every woman doing this", said Molly, smiling mockingly at him.

"I doubt any other woman would dare touch your man", laughed Arthur. "Now let's get something to eat. I'm starving."

He pinched her bottom and stopped her enraged gasp by kissing her hungrily.

_  
The phone rings in the middle of the night,  
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"  
Oh,daddy,dear,  
You know you're still number one,  
But girls,  
They wanna have fu-un,  
Oh,girls,just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun....  
_

Arthur bought Molly one of those muggle phones for their second anniversary of being boy-friend and girl-friend. He explained her exactly how it worked and called her every spare moment, driving her father nuts. Again he feared for his life whenever he approached her house.

Flashback:

"You hang up first."

"No, you hang up first."

"No, you."

"No, you."

"I love you."

"I love you more and I won't hang up."

"I won't either. I love you to bits, Mollywobbles."

"MOLLY! Hang up! It's midnight and some people want to sleep!"

"Arthur, I'm sorry but Dad's going to explode when I don't hang up."

"It's ok. Bye, love."

"Bye."

A few minutes after hanging up, the phone rang again.

"Yes?"

"I forgot to say 'I love you'."

"Oh."

"I love you."

"ENOUGH! I THROW THAT DAMN MUGGLE THING OUT THE WINDOW! IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT, FOR PETE'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_When the working day is done,  
Oh,girls,  
They wanna have fu-un,  
Oh,girls,  
Just wanna have fun...._

Girls,  
They want,  
Wanna have fun.  
Girls,  
Wanna have

Some boys take a beautiful girl,  
And hide her away from the rest of the world.  
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.  
Oh,girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh,girls,  
Just wanna have  
That's all they really want.....  
Some fun....

Arthur would be pulp when he tried to hide Molly. She married him because he was not the normal boy of their time, wanting his wife to stay home and raise kids. Molly was one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen. Arthur was bright enough to notice he must give her space when he wanted to make her his.

_When the working day is done,  
Oh,girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh,girls,  
Just wanna have fun..._

Girls,  
They want,  
Wanna have fun.  
Girls,  
Wanna have.

They just wanna,  
They just wanna.....  
They just wanna,  
(Oh....)  
They just wanna.....  
(Girls just wanna have fun...)  
Oh...

Girls just wanna have fu-un...  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
(Oh...)  
They just wanna...  
(They just wanna have fun...)  
Girls just wanna have fu-un...

When the workin',  
When the working day is done.  
Oh,when the working day is done,  
Oh,girls...  
Girls,  
Just wanna have fu-un...

They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna have fun...

Girls just wanna have fu-un..  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
(Have fun..)

They just wanna,  
(Girls wanna have fun)  
They just wanna....  
Oh,girls...  
(Wanna have fun....)  
Girls just wanna have fu-un.

When the workin',  
When the working day is done.  
Oh,when the working day is done,  
Oh,girls,  
Girls just wanna have fu-un.

They just wanna,  
They just wanna....  
(Oh,girls...)  
They just wanna,  
(Have fun....)  
Oh,girls..  
Girls just wanna have fu-un

They just wanna,  
They just wanna...  
When the working day is done...  
(fades)


	3. Pomona Sprout

_**Pomona Sprout**_

Ron stared up at the speaker in utter horror. He couldn't imagine his mother as a young girl. And especially not as such a rowdy young girl! In his mind his mother had always been the strict and forever yelling woman she was now. Somehow he didn't even want to picture his mother sneaking out to meet his father to do God knows what.

Horrified he turned to Harry, cheeks and ears aflame. Harry, too, stared up at the speaker but was concerned with different things. If Dumbledore was able to broadcast within Hogwarts walls, he had to be in the castle somewhere. Suddenly the fact that Umbridge couldn't get into his office, seemed to have a whole new dimension. And how the hell did Dumbledore know all that? Harry was thunderstruck.

But suddenly an image flashed in his mind. Molly Weasley, young and looking remarkably like Ginny, flirting hotly with Arthur Weasley, looking like Ron. Harry had to smirk at that and received a shove from Ron.

For the rest of the day there was no other topic student body and staff talked about. The student body was busy teasing Ron, Ginny and the twins, especially the Slytherins took pleasure in it. Others asked now come Dumbledore knew all those muggle songs! Cool! But the staff was worried. how could Dumbledore broadcast from within the castle and where was he hiding? And who the hell would be the next song dedicated to? Umbridge seethed and punished everyone stupid enough to get caught talking about the new Hogwarts Radio Station.

----

Hello, hello, hello again!!!

Isn't it a wonderful day? The sun is shining, I can piss off Umbridge, birds are singing, I can piss off Umbridge some more and tell you guys a little secret.

One of your teachers had once marched in demonstrations organized by muggles. She was fighting for the rights of women to vote, apply for the same jobs as men and get the same salary as men do. Another not so secret secret is that she loves food. I dedicate "Big, Blond and Beautiful" from the musical "Hairspray" to that remarkable woman.

Let's give a big hand to POMONA SPROUT!

MOTORMOUTH  
Once upon a time  
Girl i was just like you  
Never let my extra large  
Largesse shine through

Hair was brown and nappy  
Never had no fun  
I hid under a bushel  
Which is easier said than done!

Then one day my grandma  
Who was big and stout  
She said you gotta love yourself  
From inside out

And just as soon as i learned  
How to strut my funky stuff  
I found out that the world at large  
Cant get enough so...

Bring on that pecan pie  
Pour some sugar on it  
Sugar don't be shy

Scoop me up a mess  
Of that chocolate swirl  
Don't be stingy,  
I'm a growing girl

1 offer big love  
With no apology  
How can i deny the world  
The most of me

I am not afraid  
To throw my weight around  
Pound by pound by pound  
Because i'm  
Big, blonde and beautiful  
There is nothin' 'bout me  
That's unsuitable

No one wants a meal  
That only offers the least  
When girl we're servin' up  
The whole damn feast

Slice off a piece  
Of that hog head cheese  
Then take a look inside  
My book of recipes

Now, don't you sniff around  
For something fluffy and light  
I need a man who brings  
A man-size... Appetite

I'll use a pinch of sugar  
And a dash of spice  
I'll let ya lick the spoon  
Because it tastes so nice

I'll keep it in my oven  
'Til it's good and hot  
Keep on stirring til it hits the spot  
Because i'm...

Big, blonde and beautiful  
And Edna girl, you're lookin' so  
Recruitable  
Why sit in the bleachers  
Timid and afraid  
When Edna,  
You can be your own parade!

TRACY  
So? How 'bout it, Mama?

EDNA  
Well, I am big, I am blonde... ish, and if you say  
I'm beautiful, I guess I'm beautiful. OK, I'll do it!

ALL  
Yeaaa!  
Look out old Baltimore  
We're marching in  
'And we ain't shufflin'  
Through that old back door

EDNA  
And Tracy, i will join the fight  
If i can keep up this pace

WILBUR  
And girls, i'll be right at your side  
If i can find some space

MOTORMOUTH  
So you can  
Hold your head up  
Just as big as ya please  
You know they'll hear me knockin'  
With the two of these!

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE  
Tomorrow, side by side  
We'll show the world what's right

EDNA  
Looks like i'm touchin' up my roots tonight!

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE  
Then we'll be  
Big, blonde and beautiful  
It's time to face the fact  
It's irrefutable

Can't ya hear that rumbling?  
That's our hunger to be free  
It's time to fin'ly taste  
Equality

COUNCIL MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS  
On mother/daughter day  
Where thin is in,  
We're white as wool

MOTORMOUTH  
Well ladies, big is back!  
And as for black, it's...

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE  
...Beautiful!!

MOTORMOUTH  
All shapes and sizes, follow me

EDNA  
Let's bust their chops!

VELMA  
Quick, cali the cops!

MOTORMOUTH & PROTESTERS  
We're gonna dance our way to victory!  
And get us on TV!

MOTORMOUTH  
You bet i'm big!

EDNA (pulling on Velmas hair)  
This blond is gray!

LINK  
Tracy, this was beautiful!

MOTORMOUTH  
Big, blonde, and beautiful leads the way!


	4. Rolanda Hooch

_**Rolanda Xiomara Hooch**_

Pomona Sprout thought she would drop dead from the shame of hearing her favourite song with Albus making fun of her little weight problem beforehand. But before she died of shame, she would make damn sure she got Albus first. Normally Pomona was the most sweet-tempered person one could hope to meet and known to keep her students in check but right now half the class was on the floor laughing like maniacs and the other was trying to hide their brightly red faces behind plants.

Pomona's ears were ringing and her blood thundered through her veins. She compressed her lips tightly and hissed to the class.

"Dismissed! Get out!"

Not waiting for the class to obey her orders, she stomped out of the greenhouse and up the slope to the castle. She just came through the door into the Entrance Hall when the speakers went off again.

Hi galls!

Here I am again, your wonderful Headmaster (and soon to be dead headmaster if Pomona gets me) with a new song. I thought if I'm making enemies and going to die today, I thought I do it properly. No infos on the new person. Just listen to the song and think of the staff member you think it fits most.

Here's 'Trouble' from P!nk!

No attorneys  
To plead my case  
No orbits  
To send me into outta space  
And my fingers  
Are bejeweled  
With diamonds and gold  
But that ain't gonna help me now I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I disturb my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town

You think your right  
But you were wrong  
You tried to take me  
But I knew all along  
You can take me  
For a ride  
I'm not a fool out  
So you better run and hide

I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town

If you see me coming  
Down the street then  
You know it's time to  
Go (and you know it's time to go  
cause here comes trouble)

No attorneys  
To plead my case  
No opiates  
To send me into outta space  
And my fingers  
Are bejeweled  
With diamonds and gold  
But that ain't gonna help me now

You think your right  
But you were wrong  
You tried to take me  
But I knew all along  
You can take me  
For a ride  
Cause I'm not a fool out  
So you better run and hide

I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I disturb my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town

So if you see me coming  
Down the street then  
You know it's time to  
Go (go-oh-oh..I got)

Trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town

Trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town  
I'm trouble  
Yeah trouble now  
I'm trouble ya'll  
I got trouble in my town  
I got trouble in my town  
I got trouble in my town


	5. Albus Dumbledore

_**Albus Dumbledore**_

Rolanda Hooch actually fell off her broom. It was the first time in 20 years and she hated the snickers of her students. She could understand Pomona wanting to kill Albus Dumbledore. He was toast should she get her hands on him. He yelled at her students to shut up and that they were dismissed. Then she stormed up to the castle and crashed into Pomona, still standing rigid in the Entrance Hall. Both witches were fuming.

"I'll kill that leech!" hissed Rolanda.

"Hey, I'm first. Stand in line. I have dibs on killing him!" shot back Pomona. "Now where is he?"

"Good question. Have another one?"

Pommie glared at Rolanda but couldn't think of anything to shoot back. They were both quiet for a while, trying to contemplate where the Headmaster could hide.

"If only that damned castle wasn't this huge", mumbled Rolanda.

Pomona nodded gravely in agreement. But suddenly Rolanda's face lit up like a lantern.

"I have an idea", she said devilishly. "Let's go somewhere private."

She winked at Pomona conspiratorially.

----

Hello dear students of Hogwarts School!

This time it not Albus Dumbledore, our not so esteemed Headmaster anymore, but your teachers. I'm Rolanda Hooch and next to me is Pomona Sprout. Since we were the victims of the last two songs, we decided to shanghai the radio station and broadcast our revenge.

Now here you get to hear a song dedicated to the old coddler (our Headmaster, if you haven't guessed). The sly old fox is secretly in love for at least 50 years. In love with a certain transfiguration professor, if you catch my drift.

Give both of them a big hand. And the Beatles.

Chorus:  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Verse #1  
You think you lost your love,  
Well, I saw her yesterday.  
It's you she's thinking of  
And she told me what to say.

Bridge:  
She says she loves you  
And you know that can't be bad.  
Yes, she loves you  
And you know you should be glad.

Verse #2  
She said you hurt her so  
She almost lost her mind.  
But now she said she knows  
You're not the hurting kind.

Bridge:  
She says she loves you  
And you know that can't be bad.  
Yes, she loves you  
And you know you should be glad. Ooh!

Chorus:  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
And with a love like that  
You know you should be glad.

Verse #3  
YOU KNOW it's up to you,  
I think it's only fair,  
Pride can hurt you, too,  
Apologize to her

Bridge:  
Because she loves you  
And you know that can't be bad.  
Yes, she loves you  
And you know you should be glad. Ooh!

Chorus:  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah  
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

Bridge: with a love like that  
You know you should  
Be Glad!

Bridge: with a love like that  
You know you should  
Be Glad!

Bridge: With a love like that  
You know you should  
be glad!

Ending:  
Yeah, yeah, yeah.  
Yeah, yeah, yeah Ye-ah.


	6. Alastor Moody

_**Alastor Moody**_

Minerva McGonagall did something she seldom found the time to do. She prayed. She pleaded to God and all the Saints to open up a hole in the ground that would shallow and hide her. Her class was not snickering but waiting for the eruption of her infamous Scottish temper. They were all backing up simultaneously and the Weasley twins, for once, didn't seem suicidal enough to tease her.

'How could Rolanda do that to me?' Minerva asked herself furiously. 'And how could Albus let that happen? That is so like me, coming up with stupid ideas and not thinking them through to the end! I will give both a piece of my mind when I see them', she vowed silently, clenching her fists and with a mad sparkle in her eyes.

Her student backed up against the opposite wall. All of them had come into contact with an irate McGonagall at one time in their school career and had no desire to renew the experience.

"Professor, are you ok?" asked Fred cautiously, like a man approaching a ticking bomb.

"Quite alright, Mrs. Weasley", said McGonagall, tightlipped and hissing.

"Oh", muttered Fred, backing up again.

"Would you please excuse me? I have to take care of a few professors", said McGonagall in her usually stern voice but without real danger in it.

Fred nodded, openmouthed, and turned to his classmates. As Minerva McGonagall (= vengeful dark angle) swept out of the room, Lee Jordan turned to his friend and grinned wickedly.

"Someone's in trouble, big time", he frolicked.

----

Minerva hastened through the corridors towards the teacher's lounge, with an evil plan in mind. She would stop this madness now and for good. She was about to enter the staff room when the speakers went off again, making Minerva sigh miserably. 'Does this fool never learn?' she thought wryly.

Hahaha! Very funny, Rolanda, Pomona. I advise you both to get out of the castle before Minerva finds you. But I guess I have to apologize. Sorry, if I embarrassed you. ("What does he mean 'if'?" asked Rolanda witheringly and Pomona huffed in indignation.)

But now I have a new song for you all. This one will be very easy indeed.

If you guessed that this song was dedicated to your former DADA Professor, you were right. It just screams Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody for me. Till then, your Albus Dumbledore.

----

"Do you think they suspect anything?"

"No, how could they?"

"I don't know, perhaps because of your stupid show."

A soft chuckle was heard and then determined lips were pressed onto soft ones in a passionate kiss.


	7. Severus Snape

3

_**Severus Snape**_

The next day started out wonderfully. Sunshine filtered through every curtain, tickling the noses of the sleeping inhabitants of the castle. Albus Dumbledore woke up in his bed in his tower. Next to him lay his wife, still soundly asleep after a night of lovemaking. He chuckled softly, seeing that Minerva had a huge love-bite at the side of her neck. The memories of last night were a blur.

He only remembered how it had started. Minerva had tried to persuade him to stop his folly with the Radio Station.

"Umbridge is sniffing around and looking for your hide-out. You can't continue this … this … crusade against the Ministry. Albus, please, come to your senses!" she had all but yelled.

Albus had calmly heard her out but couldn't give her the answer she wanted to hear.

"I'll keep it up. Dolores has to understand that she's NOT in control. I can't and won't let the Weasley twins take all the brunt."

Minerva had sighed in a frustrated manner but had given up. For now.

----

Down in the dungeons, Severus sneered at his reflexion in the bathroom mirror. He loved Albus' little scheme. He absolutely loved it. Embarrassing his colleagues was his second most favourite pastime. First place went to terrifying students.

Pomona and Rolanda, usually happy as clamps in butter sauce, were glowering at their students as soon as look at them. Whenever they heard snickers or laughter, both witches went berserk.

It was hilarious to watch. And today Severus had planned to pour oil over smoldering fire. He laughed evilly and left his chambers with a pronounced bounce to his step.

At breakfast in the Great Hall he sat down next to Rolanda. The grey-haired witch eyed him in surprise for a moment before a suspicious glint entered her eyes.

"What do you want from me, Snape?" she asked rather aggressively.

"Oh, nothing", said Severus as innocently as humanly possible for him.

"Mmph", muttered Rolanda and ignored him.

Severus could hardly contain an evil laugh when, to his utmost pleasure, Pomona sat down on his other side. He would have the privilege to watch both witches when his little surprises arrived. As he turned back to his eggs and bacon, he noticed Rolanda eyeing him again with hardly concealed suspicion. He only raised a quisitive eyebrow at her and smirked in his most frightening manner. Rolanda rolled her eyes heavenwards and pointedly turned around, showing him the cold shoulder and making Severus laugh.

"You know that you are an insufferable git at times, Severus?" asked Pomona, rushing to the defense of her friend.

"Yeah, I know", retorted Severus, unfazed and being more insufferable than before. He just couldn't help himself to annoy his colleagues, especially since Dumbledore gave him such wonderful ammunition.

And then came the owls. 'At last', thought Severus happily. A brown barn owl swooped down on Pomona and dropped a small parcel into her lap, surprising her to no end and making her spill her tea down her impressive bosom. Hissing in pain as the hot beverage made contact with her skin, she waved her wand and cleaned herself. She opened the package more aggressively than anything else, ripping the paper to tiny shreds. Out fell a selection of the best Belgium chocolate pralines she had ever set eyes on and a hand-written note.

It read: "Chocolate is made from cacao beans. Beans are vegetable. EAT MORE VEGETABLES!!!"

Pomona was nearly falling off her chair. Her eyes bugged out and the blood came thundering into her cheeks. Flaming red, she narrowed her eyes and searched the Great Hall for the insufferable culprit … Insufferable? There was only one who could be stupid enough to … But no, he could hardly be THAT stupid … or could he?

She rounded on Severus with murder in her eyes and saw him laughing in her face. That pissed her off more than the chocolate and with an angry scream she jumped at him. But he was faster and rescued himself behind Hagrid. The half-giant was not in cooperative mood, though, and stepped out of Pomona's way.

Meanwhile Rolanda had received a parcel of her own and opened it cautiously, keeping in mind what Pomona had received earlier and from whom she had gotten it.

Her parcel revealed a necklace, cap and hot pants. All in black leather. The necklace had metal spikes all around it and at the front a circle as if for a chain or leash. Rolanda felt like fainting for the first time ever in her exciting life. Her ears were ringing and her hands balled up into fists, ready to strike the soon-dead potions teacher.

She got up slowly and took great satisfaction in seeing Severus swallow had the not-so-familiar reaction from her. He had thought she would hex him with the first curse that came to mind and now she was behaving more like a certain Transfiguration Mistress than herself. But before Rolanda could reach Severus, a speaker appeared in front of her nose and Dumbledore's voice sounded through the Great Hall.

Please, girls, calm down. I would hate to see you kill Severus (he deserve it but think of the pain it would be to find another Potions teacher).

I already thought of an appropriate punishment for him. The next song is about him. Let's hear Amy MacDonald and her song 'Poison Prince'.

_A poetic genius is something I don't see  
Why would a genius be trippin' on me?  
And he's looking at me now  
But what he can't see  
Is that I'm looking through his eyes  
So many lies behind his eyes  
And tell me stories from your past  
And sing me songs you wrote before  
I tell you this my poison prince,  
You'll soon be knockin' on heaven's door_

_Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze  
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze  
And what we all want and what we all crave  
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away_

_Oh who said life was easy?  
Who said life was fair?  
Who said nobody gives a damn and nobody even cares?_

_The way you're acting now like you left that all behind  
You've given up  
You've given in  
Another sucker of that slime_

_Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze  
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze  
And what we all want and what we all crave  
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away_

_Some kinda poison prince with your eyes in a daze  
Some kinda poison prince your life is like a maze  
And what we all want and what we all crave  
Is an upbeat song so we can dance the night away_

I hope you enjoyed your song, Severus. And perhaps, just perhaps, it taught you to think of the consequence of your actions before you try to prank your colleagues.

Pomona, Rolanda, now you have free reigns to hex Severus. Just DON'T kill him.

Pomona sneered in a way that made Severus proud and Rolanda raised her wand.

"Accio Broom! Severus, run before my broom gets here. It's a friendly advise", she said menacingly.

"Now, now, ladies. It was just a joke. We can talk about it …", Severus tried to appease them.

"No, we can't. Neville, be a dear and get me the Poisonous Pods from Greenhouse 3."

Pomona looked at Rolanda and both witches attacked at the same time to the cheers of the student body.


	8. Sybill Trelawny

_**Sybill Trelawny**_

Rolanda's and Pomona's revenge went down as the Great Chase in all the Chronicles of Hogwarts. Severus had had a narrow escape to his dungeons where he had barricaded himself and had refused to come out unless someone sedated the two furious witches.

The time he had to spent in his chambers, before someone was able to come close enough to Pomona and Rolanda for sedation, had been wasted. Severus had contemplated the song Albus had bestowed upon him. Was that the way everyone else saw him? Perhaps. Yes, it was true, he was distant and secluded. But he was a spy for the Order and had to keep his wits about him or the Dark Lord would find out about him being a triple agent. That wouldn't help the Order at all and would most assuredly mean his own painful, slow and bloody death. And anyway it was not that anyone would actually care for him.

Severus was wallowing in self pity and it disgusted him but he couldn't stop.

----

Hi there!

It's me again, your conductor from HRS. How are y'all? (Was that correct in teen slang?) Here is a friendly advice and a warning for one of our teachers. I hope she gets the message.

Here is 'Sober' from P!nk.

I don't wanna be the girl  
Who laughs the loudest  
Or the girl who never  
Wants to be alone  
I don't wanna be that call  
At 4 o'clock in the morning  
'cause I'm the only one you know  
In the world that won't be home

Ahh, the sun is blinding  
I stayed up again  
Oohh, I am finding  
That's not the way I want my story to end

I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're my protection  
How do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl  
Who has to fill the silence  
The quiet scares me  
Cause it screams the truth  
Please don't tell me that  
We had that conversation  
I won't remember, save your breath  
'cause what's the use?

Ahh, the night is calling  
And it whispers to me softly,  
"Come and play"  
Ahh, I am falling  
And if I let myself go  
I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober?

I'm coming down, coming down, coming down  
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round  
Looking for myself, sober  
I'm coming down, coming down, coming down  
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round  
Looking for myself, sober

When it's good, then it's good  
It's so good till it goes bad  
Till you're trying to find  
The you that you once had  
I have heard myself cry, "Never again"  
Broken down in agony  
Just trying to find a friend

I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober

I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober?

Will I ever feel this good sober?  
Tell me, No no no no no pain  
How do i feel this good sober?


	9. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

3

_**Sirius Black and Remus Lupin**_

Sybill was shell-shocked. She sat in her classroom with all its over-stuffed chintz armchairs and cushions. Her hands clawed at the arms of her own armchair, piercing the fabric. Her nostrils flared in anger, causing her to inhale an unhealthy amount of incense and perfume. Sybill started coughing and doubled up.

"How dare Albus embarrass me like that in front of everyone?" she breathed out with angry tears in her eyes. "I thought I could trust him."

----

Minerva sat in her favourite chair in the staff lounge when she heard the song and couldn't really believe her ears. This couldn't have happened, could it? This was surreal, even for Albus! Minerva prided herself that she knew her husband well. She had thought him incapable of such cruelty. But here she was listening to a song one could only call compromising.

"I hope you know what you just did, Albus", she whispered miserably before rising from her chair gracefully.

"Where are you going, Minerva?" asked Pomona quietly.

Her eyes were wide and shocked, clearly showing the same surprise as Minerva. Filius Flitwick sat in a chair near the window. His mouth hung open unbecomingly and his eyes were wide too.

"Someone has to check if Sybill is alright", answered Minerva as quietly as Pomona.

Her colleagues nodded gravely.

----

Hi everybody!!!

It's me again, Albus Dumbledore!!! Yay me!!!!!!! After the not so nice reprimand of one of my teachers, I thought I broadcast something funny next. Harry, listen closely. Let's see if you can guess who this song is for.

Here are the Baha men and there song 'Who let the dogs out'.

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out?

When the party was nice, the party was bumpin [Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo]  
And everybody havin' a ball [Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo]  
I tell the fellas "Start the name callin' " [Yippie Yi Yo]  
And the girls respond to the call the poor dog shout out! [ha ha ha ha]

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]

I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back ruffy, Get that scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel [pant]

I'm gonna tell myself I might not get angry [Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo]  
To any girls calling them canine [Hay!! Yippie, Yi, Yo]  
Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
You fetch a woman in front and her man behind [ha ha ha ha]  
The woman shout out

Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]  
Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]  
Who let the dogs out [who, who, who, who ?!]  
Who let the dogs out

Say, a doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it  
A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]

I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back ruffy, Get that scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel [pant]

Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on  
I gotta get my girl I got my mind on  
Do you see the rays comin' from my eye  
What could you be friend  
that Benji man that's breakin' them down?  
Me and my white short shorts  
And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do  
I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful  
'Cause I'm the man of the land  
When they see me they do'ah-ooooo (howl)

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!]

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]

Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]  
Who let the dogs out? [Who, who, who, who?!] [Yippie Yi, Yo]


	10. Fenrir Greyback

_**Fenrir Greyback**_

Harry laughed fiendishly. He had a very good idea how both Sirius and Remus would react to this song. Ron held his sides, which hurt from laughing hard but trying to appear serious at the same time.

"Oh God, I think a cracked a rib", he groaned between fits of laughter.

Hermione eyed her two best friends disapprovingly but couldn't keep a smirk from her own features. She watched as Harry and Ron rolled around in hilarity. It was funnier to watch both boys laughing their pants off, than the actual song was.

"Sirius would … hahaha … crack a … haha … a rip …too-ooo", wheezed Harry between laughter.

Hermione thought that a very likely event and cracked a smile. Ron and Harry were behaving like eleven year olds.

----

Hello, my dear students.

I have now a very serious song again. I decided I take the chance and give you an insight on some characters in our world who decided to be on the dark side. Some in our Community avoid them, persecute even. Once a month they are dangerous. Remus Lupin (some of you call him the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher) is a werewolf, as most of you know. He was bitten by our next candidate.

Flashback

Remus ran through the streets of his home town. His friends and he were playing hide-and-seek. Timothy and Jonathan were his two best friends. He was sure they were hiding behind the casks near the baker. It was their usual hiding place.

He grinned and approached on tiptoes. Suddenly he noticed a dark figure looming over the casks of flour. Immediately followed by the terrified screech of Tim. A jet of light illuminated the contorted face of a huge dog, standing on its hind-legs. Remus screamed, too. He noticed the werewolf from stories his father had told him.

With his scream he had drawn the attention of the beast to him. But it just looked at him and reached down, grabbing Jon around the throat and lifting him up bodily. Jon tried to scream but couldn't get enough air through his windpipe. His legs kicked fruitlessly.

Remus was the oldest and he had promised Tim's and Jon's parents that he would take care of them. He grabbed the nearest object and hurled it at the werewolf.

Roaring in anger the werewolf charged. Remus turned and ran but he was just a kid with short legs. The werewolf overtook him easily. He felt the paws of the creature around his shoulders. Then he was lifted clean off his feet.

The last thing he perceived was a huge gorge with rows of huge, yellowish teeth, ripping through his skin. Then darkness engulfed him.

End of Flashback

Here is "Wolfen – Das Tier in mir" from E Nomine

_Silva in lumine __- The woods are concealed in the _

_Lunae arcana est - light of the moon_

_Domus mea - My home_

_Silva in lumine - Woods in the light_

_Stellarum est _

_Es ist das Tier in mir! __It is the animal in me!_

_Es weckt die Gier nach dir! __It wakes the greed for you!_

_Hab dich zum Fressen gern! __I desire to eat you!_

_Kannst du mein Verlangen spürn? __Can you feel my desire?_

_Dunkle Wolken und finstere Gedanken, Dark clouds and dark thought,_

_die Vollmondnacht zerbricht meine Schranken. __The full monn night breaks my limits._

_In mir kommt die Gier auf Getier, dass ich massakrier. __In me comes the greed for the animals I massacre_

_Spür diese Lust auf Blut jetzt und hier. __I feel this desire now and here._

_Tief in der Nacht die funkelnden Sterne, Deep in the night of the twinkling stars,_

_ein süßer Geruch zieht mich in die Ferne. __A sweet smell pulls me into the distance._

_Aber Acht wenn ganz sacht in der Nacht Pay attention as gently my embers are_

_meine Glut entfacht __kindeld in the night_

_und der Jäger in mir erwacht! __And the hunter within me awakens_

_Silva in lumine _

_Lunae arcana est _

_Domus mea _

_Silva in lumine _

_Stellarum est _

_Es ist das Tier in mir! _

_Es weckt die Gier nach dir! _

_Hab dich zum Fressen gern! _

_Kannst du mein Verlangen spürn? _

_Fremde Gedanken, wilde Gelüste Strange thoughts and wild desires_

_Das Verlangen nach dem zarten Fleisch von Brüsten the longing for the soft flesh of breasts _

_Will reißen, will beißen, zerfleischen, zerfetzen, __I want to tear it, want to bite, shred, lacerate,_

_bei lustvoller Jagd meine Beute hetzen. __Scamper my prey on the lusty hunt. _

_Glutrote Augen folgen deiner Spur, Glowing red eyes follow your trace,_

_die Witterung führt über weite Flur. __The scent follows over distant meadows._

_Ich mutier zum Tier, bin ein Geschöpf der Nacht. __I mutate to an animal, I am a creature of the night_

_Ich bin der Jäger des Mondes bis der Morgen erwacht. __I am the hunter of the moon till morning wakes_

_Silva in lumine _

_Lunae arcana est _

_Domus mea _

_Silva in lumine _

_Stellarum est _

_Stellarum est _

_Stellarum est _

_Ahhh! _

_Ich werd zum Tier! __I become an animal!_

_Ahhh! _

_Ich werd zum Tier! I become an animal!_

_Es ist das Tier in mir! _

_Es weckt die Gier nach dir! _

_Hab dich zum Fressen gern! _

_Kannst du mein Verlangen spürn? _

_Es ist das Tier in mir! (Background: Silva in lumine) _

_Es weckt die Gier nach dir! _

_Hab dich zum Fressen gern! (Background: Silva in lumine) _

_Kannst du mein Verlangen spürn? _

_Silva in lumine _

_Lunae arcana est _

_Domus mea _

_Silva in lumine _

_Stellarum est _

_Stellarum est _

_Stellarum est _

_Stellarum est_


	11. Dolores Jane Umbridge

_**Dolores Jane Umbridge**_

Hogwarts was silent for long moments after the last broadcast. Both staff and student body was shocked beyond words. Most children starred up at the speakers. The first and second years were the only ones who had not met Remus Lupin and only heard about him being a werewolf and how mean Snape, Hogwarts resident bat from the dungeons, had spilled his secret during breakfast.

Nobody had known till now how Lupin had ended up infected by a werewolf. Especially the Gryffindors took it to heart. After all he was one of them.

Hermione, so restraint when the first song about Remus and Sirius had been broadcasted, was now in tears. After Professor McGonagall Lupin had been her favourite teacher. Silent tears tracked solitary traces across her face. Ron's arm came automatically around her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

Harry stood beside them and trembled from head to toe with suppressed anger. Something in him screamed for revenge on Remus' behalf. Hatred burned in his heart. He already knew that Fenrir Greyback was a death-eater and this information only made him hate him more.

All three could hear Lupin's painful screams and, as his transformation progressed, yowls. They saw Lupin clawing at himself in a vain attempt to rid himself of the pain.

----

Umbridge was triumphant. Dumbledore had just broadcasted a song that convinced everybody she was the right to hate werewolves. A horrid sneer spread over a face. Finally had the old fool done something right! She would make life hell for those Mutants … as if their lives weren't already hell! Umbridge rose to her feet and approached the other teachers, sitting all around the teacher's lounge. She didn't notice the disgust on most teachers' faces when they saw her approaching.

Filius Flitwick was sitting next to her and cursing that fact fluently in goblin.

Rolanda Hooch watched him sympathetically and moved closer to support him silently. Not that he needed her help greatly. He was capable to handle much worse. But they had to stick together if they ever hoped to get rid of Umbridge.

"So, Professor Flitwick, I hope you agree with me and, so it appears, the former headmaster who is currently on the run from the Ministry?" she asked innocently … or so innocently a toad in pink could ask.

Filius saw how Minerva nearly jumped up from her seat to rush forward and strangle Umbridge. Only with the greatest effort were Septima Vector and Pomona Sprout able to restrain her. That was saying something, considering the strength of Pomona. That witch could lift logs! Or so he thought.

"I disagree, Professor Umbridge", he said calmly. "I understood that song differently."

It was a great satisfaction to watch her face fall. He couldn't for the life of him suppress a wide grin.

"You see Albus wanted to show as the feelings the mutation invokes in its victims. A werewolf is unable to stop his or her transformation by full moon. Greyback is different. He is unlike all the other werewolves. His transformations are not only limited to the full moon and he takes pleasure in hunting down people and tasting their blood."

Umbridge huffed. She hadn't thought she would encounter resistance. And especially not from the diminutive always kind Professor Flitwick. She was too old to be lectured in that way. With an angry glare over her shoulder, she stormed out.

----

Hello, dear Hogwarts.

Here I am again. And there is no chance to run! Muhahaha! Just kidding.

Umbridge seems to forget that she is not welcome here. I think it high time to remind her of that little fact.

Let us hear Amy MacDonald (again) and her song "Youth of today".

_Maybe if you were some spearheaded guy  
I would listen to what you have to say  
But you're just some incapable figure  
Thinking you're bigger than me, but you're not  
Yet you don't know a thing about the youth of today  
Stating your opinion making it ring in my head all day_

And you say,  
"My children weren't the same"  
"My children's children they're the ones to blame"  
And you say,  
"In my day we were better behaved"  
But it's not your day no more...

And we are the youth of today  
Change our hair in every way  
And we are the youth of today  
We'll say what we wanna say  
And we are the youth of today  
Don't care what you have to say at all

And maybe if you had a true point of view  
I would listen to you  
But it's just your one sided feelings  
They keep getting in my way  
And you don't know a single thing about the youth of today  
Stating your opinion making it ring in my head all day

And you say,  
"My children weren't the same"  
"My children's children they're the ones to blame"  
And you say,  
"In my day we were better behaved"  
But it's not your day no more...

And we are the youth of today  
Change our hair in every way  
And we are the youth of today  
We'll say what we wanna say  
And we are the youth of today  
Don't care what you have to say at all

And you say,  
"My children weren't the same"  
"My children's children they're the ones to blame"  
And you say,  
"In my day we were better behaved"  
But it's not your day no more...

And we are the youth of today  
Change our hair in every way  
And we are the youth of today  
We'll say what we wanna say  
And we are the youth of today  
Don't care what you have to say at all


	12. Bellatrix Lestrange

_**Bellatrix Lestrange**_

Umbridge stood in the middle of the Entrance Hall. She screamed and tried to cover her ears. There were no speakers anywhere near her but she didn't them flying around her. The castle of Hogwarts boomed from the combined voices of the three Houses and even a few of the fourth House. They were all singing the song at the top of their lungs.

Umbridge cringed away from the sound. How she hated children!! And especially these ones!!!

----

The newspapers were, yet again, full of the pictures of the escaped convicts. Neville had obvious trouble concentrating on anything that was not related to Bellatrix Lestrange. He was afraid.

Harry saw him peek around every corner as if expecting her to stand there and wait for him. It was high time he talked to Neville about his parents.

Before he could approach Neville though, the speakers went on again.

Hello, hello!

What a lovely day? And here comes the lunatic that seems to be bound on destroying it. But I just finished reading the Daily Prophet (interesting story about myself in there, by the way) and I had a bright idea. ("Oh, good Lord, have mercy on us", whined Minerva.) One of the escaped convicts is Bellatrix Lestrange … right along with her husband Rudolphus.

I feel that you have every right to know what she was convicted for. Her victims should never be forgotten and the survivors of her attacks should be honoured. Especially since one of the survivors is here in Hogwarts.

Flashback

Bellatrix was furious. The Dark Lord was gone and had left her behind. Her!?! His most faithful servant!! She would proof to him that she was his follower to death and beyond. All she had to do was find him. And she knew where to get her information.

She strode forward with long strides, pushing past her fellow death-eaters and her husband, the spineless worm. Nobody dared talk to her. They knew that particular mood very well in her.

After apparating and dragging the others with her, she approached the house of a well-known auror and his wife. She looked through the window and saw a toddler on the floor, playing with a few tulips and other flowers. That little brat would soon know what it was like to lose everything!

She pointed her wand at the door and it burst open into tiny fragments. The inhabitants whirled around to the source of the noise. The little boy on the floor cried and was picked up by a young woman. An older woman bravely faced the door with a young man standing next to her. He was obviously her son and the auror Bellatrix was looking for.

She laughed at his fighting stance and the death-grip around his wand. He was pathetic. She would crush him like a leaf. He would give her the information she so desperately sought. With an almost lazy flick of her wand she disarmed the old hag and sent her flying through the room, crushing into the opposite wall and knocking her unconscious. These sorry excuses for wizards were no match for her.

With an angry roar Frank Longbottom flung himself at her, slashing her arm with a fiery whip from his wand. Bellatrix cried out in pain and attacked with vigour.

Rudolphus watched his wife fight Frank Longbottom. He was amazed. That auror put up more of a fight than they had thought. He saw how his wife had to dodge all the curses he threw at her and went more into defending herself than attacking. He saw, before Bellatrix saw it herself, that Longbottom would strike from the left and Bella's unprotected side next. She would be wounded. He lifted his own wand and cursed the auror.

"Stupor!"

Frank Longbottom fell to the floor, stunned. The woman clutching the toddler screamed and rushed forward to her fallen husband.

"FRANK! Oh God, don't be dead. Please ..." she wailed through tears.

Bellatrix laughed evilly and closed in on Frank and Alice. She crept closer menacingly and pointed her wand at Alice throat.

Frank's eyes darted to and fro frantically, searching for a way to break the curse.

"Crucio!" yelled Bellatrix, pointing her wand at Alice.

Neville watched his mother writhe in agony and screaming in pain.

End of Flashback

This song shows the cruelty ... no, indifference in Bellatrix Lestrange.

Within Temptation and "Ice queen" is up next.

_When leaves have fallen  
And skies turned into grey.  
The night keeps on closing in on the day  
A nightingale sings his song of farewell  
You better hide for her freezing hell_

On cold wings she's coming  
You better keep moving  
For warmth, you'll be longing  
Come on just feel it  
Don't you see it?  
You better believe it.

When she embraces  
Your heart turns to stone  
She comes at night when you are all alone  
And when she whispers  
Your blood shall run cold  
You better hide before she finds you

Whenever she is raging  
She takes all life away  
Haven't you seen?  
Haven't you seen?  
The ruins of our world

She covers the earth with a breathtaking cloak  
The sun awakes and melts it away  
The world now opens its eyes and sees  
The dawning of a new day

Whenever she is raging  
She takes all life away  
Haven't you seen?  
Haven't you seen?  
The ruins of our world


	13. Tom Riddle

5

_**Lord Voldemort alias Tom Marvolo Riddle**_

Neville stood quietly and stock-still in the Transfiguration Classroom. He couldn't remember when he had stood up. His ears rang and his blood thundered through his veins. Of course he wasn't ashamed of his parents and what had happened to them, but it was something else to have it blurted out in the whole school. Neville saw red, clenching his fists he swore he would give Professor Dumbledore a piece of his mind.

A soft hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder. Neville whirled around and met Professor McGonagall's soft emerald eyes. He had never seen them hold such a gentle expression. A hesitant smile tucked at her lips and she stroked through Neville's hair.

"I understand if you want to leave my classroom and be alone for awhile, Mr. Longbottom. I only ask you to go to Madam Pomfrey and ask her for the biggest and best chocolate she has in store."

Neville couldn't believe his ears. Professor McGonagall allowed him out of the classroom? And he even got chocolate? His cheeks flamed and hot tears fell from his eyes. He didn't want pity! He was proud of his parents! They had fought to the last!

"I'm sorry, Mr. Longbottom ..."

"Don't! Stop it, Professor. I don't want your pity!" yelled Neville, forgetting he was addressing his respected Transfiguration professor.

"I understand, Mr. Longbottom. Would my sympathy be more acceptable to you?" asked Professor McGonagall without anger or reprimand in her voice.

Neville nodded, ashamed and feeling miserable, then he gathered his bag and books and walked to the Hospital Wing.

----

"Dear staff and student body, could I have your full attention please."

A speaker had appeared in the Great Hall during dinner. It was much bigger than all the others throughout the castle. Immediately every student in the Hall dropped their utensils and looked up. Their whole attention was fixed on the words of their former headmaster. Umbridge gritted her teeth in frustration. She wanted those brats to once listen to her like they listened to the other teachers and that old fool.

"Cedric Diggory was killed by Lord Voldemort. The Ministry still doesn't want to see the truth but I will be damned if I dishonour Cedric's memory and send my students out unprepared. To understand him better I will now tell you some things about the Dark Lord."

The student body gasped in horror and not a few teachers grasped the arms of their chairs. Dolores screeched. She would not have this. Albus Dumbledore could not do that. He was a liar and would give the students wrong ideas.

"I heard this song on the Muggle wireless and immediately associated it with Tom. Again it's from the singer P!nk. Silver fog will appear in the Great Hall and form figures. Don't be alarmed. Those are only memories from various people of the first war."

_Dear Mr. President  
Come take a walk with me  
Let's pretend we're just two people and  
You're not better than me  
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly_

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street  
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep  
What do you feel when you look in the mirror  
Are you proud  


Flashback from Albus Dumbledore:

Albus Dumbledore walked through the streets of London. Everywhere he looked he saw misery. Behind the strong Glamour-Charm, Albus tried to hide his tears and the horror in his eyes.

Once Knockturn Alley had been a disreputable street for dark wizards and witches but now beggars littered the dirty and cold pavement. They were huddled forms who were only clothed in rugs. What pained Albus most was the fact that he knew almost every person in this dark alley.

Voldemort and his death-eaters had stormed the Ministry long ago and had thrown all muggle-born wizards and witches into the streets, taking away their wands and thus any means of earning a living.

End of Flashback

_  
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry  
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye  
How do you walk with your head held high  
Can you even look me in the eye  
And tell me why  
_

Flashback from Poppy Pomfrey:

I stood in the Hospital Wing in Hogwarts and nursed a couple of students who had gotten into a fight over the Quidditch match. While I tried my best to scold down on the boys, I couldn't stop the bubble of happiness starting from the pit of my stomach.

My husband and our little son should be here soon. Today was our wedding anniversary and Robert had promised we would celebrate.

A shy and somewhat hesitant knock sounded from the door and I whirled around with a radiant smile. A smile which died when Alastor Moody peered through the door. I furrowed my brows and ushered Alastor to my office. No need for the students to hear.

"Alastor, how can I help you, old friend? Another wound because you never pay attention when you protect others?" I asked a bit more acidly than was usual for me.

Alastor didn't react to my reprimand and accusation, though, causing my frown to deepen. I grew agitated by his unusual quiet and tapped my foot on the floor.

"Alastor, whatever it is, spit it out. I have better things to do than wait for your report", I demanded briskly.

"Oh, Poppy, I'm so sorry", whispered Alastor heartbroken.

My heart sank rapidly. A hollow feeling formed in the pit of my stomach and I had to grab the edge of my desk for support. Black spots appeared in front of my eyes and my knees felt wobbly and incapable of supporting my weight.

"What are you saying?" I asked hoarsely through white, bloodless lips.

Alastor moved swiftly forward, seeing my apparently obvious need for assistance, and gathered me into his arms.

"Robert and Tristan were on their way to you when they were waylaid by a disturbing charm interfering with their apparition. Robert tried to defend your little son and himself but was overpowered …"

"No", I breathed before falling into a dead faint.

End of Flashback

_  
Dear Mr. President  
Were you a lonely boy  
Are you a lonely boy  
Are you a lonely boy  
_

Flashback of Tom Riddle:

A small boy sat near a window. Outside rain poured down from the skies, drowning out the faint light of the day. The sky was as grayish as his skin. Black hair hang matted around his face, shading his dull black eyes. The boy sat all alone in the room.

Suddenly the door opened and two other boys stormed into the room.

"Let's get your ball. We can play in the hallway", exclaimed one boy cheerfully.

The pale boy near the window looked up and focused his gaze on the reflection of the boys in the window.

Neither boy, though, seemed to take notice of him. Tom grew angry with them for their ignorance of him and stiffened his shoulders.

The boys rushed out again and closed the door behind them. But before the door fell shut, Tom heard

their voices.

"Shouldn't we have asked him too?"

"No, he is always weird."

End of Flashback

_How can you say  
No child is left behind  
We're not dumb and we're not blind  
They're all sitting in your cells  
__While you pave the road to hell_

_  
What kind of father would take__ his own daughter's rights away_

_And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay  
_

Flashback of Aurora Sinistra:

"I love Rolanda! You can't force me to marry that … that ignorant ass-hole!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

My father regarded me sternly and forbidding. He had never understood me.

"You will marry Macnair. He is a loyal follower of the Dark Lord. I had enough of that stupid teen obsession of yours. Enough dating girls. Enough dishonouring the family. You will do as you are told! That is my final word!"

"I most assuredly will NOT!" I yelled back.

Before I could prepare myself or even saw my father's reaction coming, I was slapped hard across the face. Losing my balance, I fell to the floor, sprawled and unable to hold back tears. None the less I starred up to him defiantly.

"You will never touch me again."

And with that I apparated back to the flat I shared with my lover.

End of Flashback

_I can only imagine what the first lady has to say  
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine_

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry  
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye  
How do you walk with your head held high  
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work  
Minimum wage with a baby on the way  


Flashback from Molly:

I couldn't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone. I vaguely wish it would've went slower. Arthur's pay was so little, and I had been put on bed-rest little over a month ago ...

It was horrid! I went crazy in this home knowing there was nothing but cleaning and cooking I could do...

I so wanted to earn money to help my husband support our family, and to be able to take some stress from his shoulders to mine. Yet, everyday was the same, and I knew soon, I wouldn't be able to bare it. There weren't enough diapers, the paint wasn't bright enough, and Arthur and I both knew, minimum wage wasn't cutting it.

End of Flashback

_Let me tell you bout hard work  
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away_

_Let me tell you bout hard work  
Building a bed out of a cardboard box  
Let me tell you bout hard work  
Hard work  
Hard work  
You don't know nothing bout hard work  
Hard work  
Hard work  
Oh_

How do you sleep at night  
How do you walk with your head held high  
Dear Mr. President  
You'd never take a walk with me  
Would you


	14. Harry & Lily

_**Harry Potter and Lily Evans Potter**_

Silence filled the Great Hall despite every student and teacher being assembled in it. That was the first time since the room was created by the four founders. Still starring at the last memory, the assembled people watched in horror how the silvery figures slowly dissolved, falling in on themselves and evaporating.

Many Slytherins had never heard Lord Voldemort's reign of terror from the victims' point of view. Their fathers had always depicted it as a glorious time when the pure-blood witches and wizards had finally been met with the respect they deserved. They had idolized the heroes who had been killed by Aurors and the tragic loyalists who were imprisoned in Azkaban.

All of the pure-blood and half-blood students had heard of You-Know-Who in hushed, terrified voices from their relatives. Some of those witnesses had cried when they talked about family and friends they had lost in the last war. Horror and fear had shown in their eyes when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had been mentioned. With time they too had learned to fear the Dark Lord and his followers. Even despise his followers and their children in Slytherin.

Poppy cried into her handkerchief with Flitwick patting her elbow where he could reach it and Septima Vector wrapping her arms around the weeping woman. She remembered vividly the months of Poppy's break-down after her husband and little son had been murdered.

Poppy had forced Alastor to apparate her to the scene of the crime. He had tried to resist her, saying she was not up to it, that it would break her heart even further. Poppy, always a sweet-tempered, calm and understanding woman, had whipped out his wand and yelled at Alastor should he desire to survive the day he would do better to bring her to the corpses of her husband and son. Albus had come into the Hospital Wing at that moment and consented to Poppy's wish. "She has to see it", he had said, knowing and understanding what she went through.

After their return Poppy had been quiet, calm and empty. No emotions were on display on her face or in her posture. Softly she had sent everyone out and set to wash the bodies of her loved ones for their funeral. No tears, no wailing, no mourning. The staff of Hogwarts, her friends, had watched helplessly how she had nearly starved herself, had not slept in her pursuit of revenge, had not allowed being close to anyone.

Until Rolanda had sat her down forcefully and yelled at her. Yelled at her like no one else dared to. She asked her if that was really what Robert had wanted her life to be. What her little son would say if he could see his mother this changed? Poppy had then finally admitted her feelings to wash over her and yelled back until she broke down crying. Slowly she had returned to some semblance of normalcy.

Aurora felt the eyes of many students upon herself. She could only too clearly imagine what went through their heads after realizing that two of their teachers were in a gay relationship. Rolanda moved beside her and took her hand in her own.

"No need to panic, love, they'll get used to it", said Rolanda quietly.

"What about Umbitch?" asked Aurora anxiously.

Only too well could she imagine the mean woman's reaction to the news. She had already many negative points on her list, points which made sure Rolanda was fired before the year was out. It was enough that Rolanda was a half-breed.

Sybill Trelawny, sitting at the staff table for once, looked positively triumphant. She was gloating over at Umbridge with sparkling eyes. Slowly she sauntered over to Professor McGonagall and, upon reaching her, put an arm conspiratorially around the other woman's shoulders. McGonagall starred confused at her colleague. Since when was Sybill like this with HER of all people?

"What do you want, Sybill?" asked McGonagall, "Not to seem rude but ...", she trailed off lamely.

"Was it my drink or did dear old Albus just directly attacked the Ministry AND the Dark Lord?" asked Sybill with the biggest smirk staff and student body had ever seen on her lips.

McGonagall chuckled softly but there was also a slightly worried expression on her face.

"Well, I not sure myself. I'm rather hoping my hearing is failing me", she answered wearily.

Sybill laughed at that and picked up a goblet.

"My last toast to Albus, the ingenious old coddler!"

Harry though stood up from his place on the Gryffindor Table and walked up to the staff table. He stopped in front of Umbridge's seat, starring down on her angrily.

"Do you really want things like that happening again? If you and the Ministry would only see reason, we could stop Voldemort before he comes to full power. But no it is so much more convenient to just stay put and pretend he is not back, like Fudge does. Wake up, Professor, and smell the oven!" Harry said heatedly. Apparently he was done with being patient and careful.

Umbridge starred up at Harry with her mouth working furiously to find words to contradict this boy.

"And to Harry Potter!" amended Sybill with a sardonic grin to Umbridge.

----

Later that day Harry still wondered why Dumbledore had never mentioned his parents in his song for Voldemort. He sat in the Library, trying not very successfully to do his work, and starred out at the cold night descending over the Hogwarts grounds.

Ron for once was quiet and raised a questioning eyebrow at Hermione. But the girl just shrugged her shoulders, indicating that she too was at a loss. Ron's eyes went as round as saucers but he couldn't suppress the smirk from rising. Hermione scowled angrily at him and kicked his shin with all the force she could muster. Serves him right for ridiculing her!

Harry was startled out of his reverie by Ron's pained and enraged moan. He rounded on his two friends and saw Ron bending down to hold his shin and Hermione smiling down on him with a very superior expression which in turn infuriated Ron even more. These two would never learn and stop bickering.

Normally Harry would jump into action and stop the ensuing fight or retreat quietly before he could get caught in it. Not so today. It was rather funny to watch the feverish but all together silent fight of wills between his two best friends. He had the feeling that he was the source of it.

'I was right. 100 points for me. Yay', he thought sarcastically when Hermione gestured vaguely in his direction and shook her head. Ron turned an ugly shade of red and made a throwing gesture over his shoulder then pointing at her. Hermione's scowl intensified, reminding Harry of the Basilisk.

"Would you two care to stop bickering and help me with Transfiguration? I'm still two inches short on my essay", said Harry finally.

Both friends jumped and turned to him. Hermione wanted to explain and apologize but Harry shook his head.

"No need, Hermione. Thanks for worrying over me, though" said Harry, blushing.

He was normally not the person to take kindly to being fussed over, except by Molly Weasley (well, he wouldn't have a chance against her anyway).

----

"In memory of a very special woman!"

Albus Dumbledore's voice boomed through the Great Hall the next morning during breakfast, causing most of the assembled to jump a foot high and spill their tea or coffee over themselves. The Headmaster waited patiently until the cries of pain, the swearing of disgruntled students and the frantic spell casting to clean and dry themselves had subsided.

"Sorry for that", came Dumbledore's voice through the speakers.

"Not likely!" growled Severus, not a morning person.

"Now, now, Severus, don't start being unfriendly this early in the morning. I promise you will like that song, too."

"I wouldn't bet money on that", challenged Rolanda with a grin to Severus.

The Potions master only scowled his best scowl and resumed eating.

"God, am I glad to be rid of that mad house, if only for a while", muttered Dumbledore's voice and every person in the Great Hall picked up on the note of wistfulness. "Now, as I was saying: here comes a song for a very special woman and her son. Enjoy listening to Jesse McCartney and his song "Because you live". It is for Harry Potter and his mother Lily."

_Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart  
It's the end of the world in my mind  
Then your voice pulls me back like a wakeup call_

Lily Potter was in the final stages of her pregnancy and felt as fat as she was tall. She couldn't wait to hold her little son in her arms and be done with being pregnant. For days now she had felt restless, prowling the house like a caged tigress. Usually that was James' pastime.

Smiling at the memories of a sulking James in the first weeks in their 'prison', she stepped to the window of their house. Outside it was raining cats and dogs. And James was out there, hanging up decorations for Sirius' birthday celebration tomorrow.

A lightning illuminated Godric's Hollow with an eerie light. It was immediately followed by the loud boom of thunder.

The little person in her didn't care for storms. Lily felt a kick to her liver and her son's restless movements as if he wanted to get away from the noises of thunder and rain. Smiling and wincing at another attack on her liver, she placed her hands on her stomach and stroked to bulge softly. The movements ceased but she could still feel the trembling of her child. She started to hum a lullaby her own mother had sung to her and Petunia whenever they had been afraid of something.

_  
I've been looking for the answer  
Somewhere  
I couldn't see that it was right there  
But now I know what I didn't know_

Because you live and breathe  
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help  
Because you live, girl  
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again  
Cuz of you, _I made it through every storm  
What is life, what's the use if you're killed inside  
I'm so glad I found an angel  
Someone  
Who was there when all my hopes fell  
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes  
_

Harry saw his parents play with him on the floor of their living room through the window. They were carefree and happy. It was Halloween and little Harry was dressed in a costume. He wore a pumpkin outfit with his stubby arms and legs sticking out. On his head perched a green hat with leafs precariously. Lily and James Potter laughed at his attempts to stand up and walk around. His attempts almost always ended with him falling on his padded bum.

Lilly would laugh every time and help him up again holding out her hands and letting him grab on to her fingers. Harry squawked happily and pulled himself up again.

Suddenly the door burst open and Harry could feel his mother picking him up and pressing him to her bosom protectively.

"Lily, he's here!"

Everything from there on was a blur in Harry's memory. The only thing he remembered clearly was seeing his mother being hit by a green lightning and crumpling to the floor.

_  
Because you live and breathe  
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help  
Because you live, girl[You live]  
My world[my world] has twice as many stars in the sky  
Because you live, I live_

Because you live there's a reason why  
I carry on when I lose the fight  
I want to give what you've given me always  


Harry sat in a high chair at the kitchen table. Lily sat close to him and held a spoon in her hand. In front of her sat a bowl of mashed potatoes, supposedly Harry's dinner. The toddler, though, had different ideas. He held up his hands over his mouth and shook his head. When the spoon came insistently closer he swatted it away. A load full of mashed potatoes landed in Lily's face, making her son laugh at her toothlessly.

Lily glowered at him and Harry shut up, glowering back. Green eyes flashed in both their faces and jaws were set determinedly.

James leaned against the frame of the kitchen door and watched this little battle highly amused.

"If he doesn't want to eat it, don't force him", he adviced.

"He has to eat something and it's not gonna be something sweet", answered Lily fiercely. "That's unhealthy for him."

"But he likes it ..."

"Don't spoil him like that, James!"

"Says the woman who gives him all her love and neglects her husband", whined James.

He walked forward and rescued his son from Lily's new attempts to feed him. Lily snorted irritated but gave up. With a flick of her wand she sent the spoon and bowl to the sink then she got up and stood close to her husband.

"I would never neglect you", she mumbled before leaning over her son to kiss her husband on her lips.

_  
Because you live and breathe  
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help  
Because you live, girl  
My world[my world] has everything I need to survive_

Because you live... I live... I live...


	15. Minerva McGonagall

4

_**Minerva McGonagall and the Gals of Hogwarts**_

Harry's eyes were brimming with tears when the song stopped. Never had he imagined his mother like that. When he thought of her and his father, he pictured their last moments on earth. He had started to imagine Voldemort in Godric's Hollow, killing and destroying everything he held dear in his young life, in his third year. The dementors had affected his worst memories to come to the surface, not the pleasant ones.

Hermione scooted over to him and put her arms around his neck, correctly interpreting the mood her friend was in. Understandably he would be upset or overwhelmed. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to grow up without the love of her parents. Ron and she were the only people who really knew how rotten Harry was treated by the Dursleys.

Harry suddenly remembered that Dumbledore had said that Snape would like that song too. Looking up, he witnessed as Snape, bat from the dungeons and worst enemy of James Potter, wiped his nose on a tartan handkerchief Professor McGonagall had snuck to him under the table. Perhaps Snape felt bad about hating his father now that he was dead, thought Harry.

----

Minerva was giving her afternoon class of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw second years. She was really happy and content. Umbridge had not visited one class of her and the menu for today said that there would be Haggis for dinner.

And suddenly a single sound chattered her happiness.

"Well, well, I was wondering if I couldn't lighten the mood in this castle", boomed Dumbledore's voice and her so-civilized-one-second-ago students squealed in delight of the upcoming treat. Not even her most intense glare had any effect on the little brats.

"Working in a school is hard work indeed (especially for a mad nutter like me). Let's give our female staff the gratitude they deserve, shall we. To do so we will listen to Dolly Parton and "9 to 5". Enjoy"

_Tumble out of bed  
And stumble to the kitchen  
Pou__r myself a cup of ambition _

The image of Septima Vector rose, showing her in pyjamas with flying fairies on it. Her hair was dishevelled and standing on end. She ran head first into the door to her little kitchenette and swore fervently, rubbing her forehead and glaring at the door as if it were a nitwit three year.

_Yawn__ing and stretching and try to come to life  
Jump in the shower  
And the blood starts pumpin'  
_

Minerva McGonagall was seen in the too familiar (if you were a Gryffindor or out of bed at night) tartan dressing gown of hers. Her hair, though, was tumbling loosely over her back. Casually she gathered her long tresses in her hands and twisted them up, so that they were out of her face. Then she proceeded to untie the knot of her dressing gown and slid it off her shoulders, dropping it carelessly on the floor.

Not few male students wolf-whistled at the sexy nightgown revealed. It was a light blue and clung to her body in all the right places, revealing her slender shoulders and long shins.

Minerva made a beeline to her bathroom and the male students now prayed that Dumbledore would keep up the memory. No such luck.

_Out on the streets  
The traffic starts jumpin'  
With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5  
Chorus:_

Workin' 9 to 5  
What a way to make a livin'  
Barely gettin' by  
It's all takin'  
And no givin'  
They just use your mind  
And they never give you credit  
It's enough to drive you  
Crazy if you let it

9 to 5, for service and devotion  
You would think that I  
Would deserve a fair promotion  
Want to move ahead  
But the boss won't seem to let me in  
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me  
Mmmmm...  


Irma Pince stood in front of Dumbledore in his office.

"I need a raise in the funds for the library. Some of the books returned by the N.E.W.T. students of Severus are unreadable in some places."

"I can't grant you higher funds or Sybill will come swooping down on me instantly and demand she gets new funds for more cups and crystal balls and all that. Aurora will demand new telescopes and this school will be bankrupt faster than ... than ... than Hagrid on a drinking tour in London."

_  
They let your dream  
Just to watch them shatter  
You're just a step  
On the boss man's ladder  
But you got dream he'll never __take away  
_

It was a staff meeting in the early morning and Rolanda Hooch yawned so widely her jaws cracked alarmingly. Dumbledore stood in the centre of the room and described his new policy for the school. Rolanda's eyes glazed over and a faint smile curled her lips. She seemed to be dreaming about something wonderful since her smile widened and her eyes held a distinctively flirtatious look.

"I hope you are imagining me asking you out, Rolanda, to explain my new policies again and in detail", snarled Dumbledore and caused Rolanda to fall off her chair.

_  
In the same boat  
with__ a lot of your friends  
Waitin' for the day  
Your ship'll come in  
And the tide's gonna turn  
An' it's all gonna roll you away_

2nd Chorus:

Workin' 9 to 5  
What a way to make a livin'  
Barely gettin' by  
It's all takin'  
And no givin'  
They just use your mind  
And you never get the credit  
It's enough to drive you  
Crazy if you let it  


Pomona Sprout was shouting at the top of her lungs.

"I hate that old nutter!"

"Should I know who you are talking about?" asked Poppy innocently. She had noticed her friend's growing agitation over the last days. It was her first year teaching at Hogwarts to Poppy's first year as a matron.

"The crazy fool we're working for!" Pomona was waving around with her arms.

"What has he done now?" sighed Poppy. It seemed that ever since Pomona had come back to teach, Albus had made it his top priority to annoy the sweet-tempered witch.

"He used my idea!" clarified Pomona angrily.

"What idea?"

"For the green houses! The ... the ... you don't remember?"

"Nope, as much as you don't remember my first emergency with an inflamed appendix" Poppy shot back.

"Yeah, but he didn't let you do all the work and then go to the Minister and tell him those were his ideas all along. I hate that git!"

"Did you ever think that his words might have more influence on the Minister than yours?"

"He still should have told him those were my ideas", fumed Pomona.

_  
9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you  
There's a better life  
And you think that I would don't you  
It's a rich man's game  
No matter what they call it  
And you spend your life  
Putting money in his pocket_

3rd Chorus:

Workin' 9 to 5  
What a way to make a livin'  
Barely gettin' by  
It's all takin'  
And no givin'  
They just use you mind  
And they never give you credit  
It's enough to drive you  
Crazy if you let it

Fade:

9 to 5, yeah, they got you where they want you  
There's a better life  
And you dream that I would don't you  
It's a rich man's game  
No matter what they call it  
And you spend your life  
Putting money in his wallet


	16. Nymphadora Tonks

4

_**Nymphadora Tonks**_

For the thousandth time Minerva wished she had been smart enough to listen to her parents and not get involved with crazy, extravagant and eccentric Albus Dumbledore. Her head dropped on to her upturned palms with a groan and she wished desperately that her students would simply disappear. Peeking through her fingers, she discovered that most of her class was sniggering and all the boys watched her with dreamy expressions on their faces.

'He is dead before the day is over', she thought vengefully. 'How could he do this to me? I'm his wife, for heaven's sake. How will I ever be able to look my male students in the eyes?'

Groaning again in frustration, she turned around and strode purposefully out the classroom.

Outside she met Septima. Her classroom was not that far away from Minerva's. The witch looked very grumpy and ready to do battle against the headmaster.

"Where is he?" she asked aggressively.

"And how the hell should I know?" asked Minerva back, every bit as acidly as Septima.

Septima looked up and down the corridor. No students were seen anywhere. 'They're probably in hiding if they know what's good for them', she thought grimly. Then she turned back to her colleague.

"He is your husband", she whispered, none the less careful. One never knew who was listening and it would not do for Umbridge to find out.

"Not for much longer", growled Minerva but there was a happy glint in her eyes. She loved to be called Albus' wife, even only by the few who knew about their marriage. "If I know him at all, he is in hiding ... somewhere far away from me."

Both witches were still standing aimlessly in the hallway when they heard more footsteps approaching them. And they were approaching fast. Rolanda ran around the corner on the other end of the corridor.

"Where is that git?" she yelled as soon as she spotted Minerva, not caring in the slightest who might overhear. "This time he is gonna die painfully, slowly and with the maximum amount of blood!! No more Mrs. Nice-Teacher!! I want my revenge!!!" she wheezed as she staggered to a halt in front of Minerva and Septima. After she had caught some breath, she asked miserably: "Why is it always me? Not my fault if all his staff meetings bore me to tears."

Septima patted her arm sympathetically. She, too, had fallen asleep during staff meeting as well as Aurora. But Aurora had the splendid excuse that she was up all night star-gazing and that this was actually her job. Before she could say as much, they were yet again interrupted by a new arrival. Irma Pince huffed into view and seemed more than a bit mad. Her hair was standing on end and her glasses were askew.

"Where is that man?" she screeched at Minerva.

"Why does everyone automatically assume I would know where that madman is?" asked Minerva, looking up to the ceiling and praying for patience.

Pomona raced towards them. It was the fastest anyone had ever seen her.

"That's it! Not a second time!! Apperently Ro and I were to lax the last time! He will pay now! Where ..."

"I HAVE NO IDEA!!! AND EVEN IF I KNEW I WOULDN'T TELL BECAUSE HE'S MINE TO FINISH OFF!!!!!" yelled Minerva

"Now, now, ladies, is that any way to talk about your employer?" asked the innocent voice of Albus Dumbledore, causing the assembled witches to jump a foot high and draw their wands in a threatening manner.

"He is still in the castle", muttered Poppy, having just arrived as well with Aurora in her wake.

"Hey, Mr. Employer and Smarty-Pants, how come I wasn't mentioned? Last time I checked I was female and an employee here", complained the Astronomy professor.

All the other witches starred at her. She couldn't be that thick!!! They all would gladly walk around Hogwarts naked if that would spar them this embarrassment.

"And cause more embarrassment doing so", sniggered Albus' voice above them and making the witches cringe.

'Stupid to forget that he's a legilimence', thought Pomona wryly.

"I apologise, Aurora. I promise you a song all for yourself. But not today. This song is for a certain auror and the boy she tries to win over. By the way the song is called 'Girlfriend' and is sung by Avril Lavigne."

_Hey, hey, you, you  
I don't like your __Girlfriend__  
No way, no way  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I could be your girlfriend_

Hey, hey, you, you  
I know that you like me  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I want to be your girlfriend

You're so fine I want you mine you're so delicious  
I think about you all the time you're so addictive  
Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright (Alright...)

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And hell yeah, I'm the mother fucking princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (I'm right...)

She's like so whatever  
You could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey, hey, you, you  
I don't like your girlfriend  
No way, no way  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you  
I know that you like me  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me  
And even when you look away I know you think of me  
I know you talk about me all the time  
again and again (Again and again...)

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear  
Better, yet, make your girlfriend disappear  
I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (And again...)

Because...

She's like so whatever  
And you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about

Hey, hey, you, you  
I don't like your girlfriend  
[ Girlfriend lyrics from .com/ ]  
No way, no way  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, you, you  
I know that you like me  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I want to be your girlfriend

(Uh)  
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in  
She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

(Uh)  
In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger  
'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better  
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in  
She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Hey, hey, you, you (Hey)  
I don't like your girlfriend (Yes)  
No way, no way (No way)  
I think you need a new one  
Hey, hey, you, you (Hey)  
I could be your girlfriend

(No way, no way)  
Hey, hey, you, you (Hey)  
I know that you like me  
No way, no way (No way)  
No, it's not a secret  
Hey, hey, you, you (Hey)  
I want to be your girlfriend  
(No way, no way)

(Hey hey!)  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I don't like your girlfriend (No way!)  
No way, no way  
I think you need a new one (Hey!)  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I could be your girlfriend (No way, no way)

(Hey hey!)  
Hey, hey, you, you  
I know that you like me (Now way!)  
No way, no way  
No, it's not a secret (Hey!)  
Hey, hey, you, you (No way)  
I want to be your girlfriend (No way, no way)

Hey, hey!


	17. Arthur & Molly Weasley

2

_**Arthur & Molly Weasley**_

Minerva, Pomona, Filius and Severus were nervous wrecks after Albus' dramatic escape and his not so quiet strike and Umbridge's hard, unfair regime. Impromptu early staff meetings were scheduled for almost every morning. And at night every teacher got an assigned area to patrol. They had nothing better to do with their time, of course!

Pomona's feathers were still ruffled after her songs and the rather embarrassing revelations about her life. Her sweet temper was gone and more and more often did she snap at her students in a way that would make Professor McGonagall proud. All the Hufflepuffs tried to cheer her up but failed to take her anxiety away.

Filius was as anxious as his younger colleague. Umbridge was on the brick to insanity. One false move and she would have that teacher not only sacked but most likely also arrested. He as well as Minerva were on top of her list of most dangerous staff members. Minerva for her loyalty to Albus and he for his ancestry. Again he cursed his grandmother for getting involved with a goblin.

Severus' stress level was on an all-time high since he not only had to deal with Umbridge but also with his role as a double agent. He felt cornered and under attack from all sides.

Minerva missed her husband and feared for her students (quite a few of them in the DA). Her temper was surfacing more often and more strongly than normally. Umbridge was systematically driving her up the wall. That woman was able to bring out all the worst traits of her McGonagall heritage. Her fiery, short temper was just one of them. For Heaven's sake she had even started to curse Umbridge in Gaelic. Fortunately that toad wasn't a linguist but the snickering of the other professors, who over the years had picked up a few expressions of the fouler sort, had told the insufferable witch enough of their meaning.

But now Umbridge had invented another means of torture for the four Heads of House. She had come up with the idea of a parents' weekend to show off her power over Hogwarts. Minerva inwardly gritted her teeth and curled her hands under the cover of her robes. That woman was abominable!

Severus felt the same way as Minerva. Bringing together members of the Order of the Phoenix and death-eaters was a sure-fire-method to start major chaos! He just hoped neither side would compromise his role as a double-agent in some way.

"As I was saying", Umbridge rambled on, "the parents will arrive on Saturday, stay one night here in Hogwarts and return to their homesteads on Sunday. We will arrange for a little program. But most of all I demand that this business with the fugitive Dumbledore is cleared up."

Here Umbridge paused and looked sternly around. Filius starred her right in the eye, daring her to add the unspoken "or else". Severus seriously contemplated to curse the darn woman. Pomona exchanged a dour look with Minerva, both witches having a serious problem with the word "demand. But none of them was really in a position to refuse the Headmistress. They had no other choice than to play along. For now.

---

Umbridge stood regally in the Entrance Hall and greeted the parents of her students. Quite a few did she know from her work at the ministry, meeting them while conducting important business, and the others had files on them that she had read. There were the Weasleys for instance.

As if on cue speakers appeared in the air all around the Entrance and Great Hall.

"Welcome to my school", boomed the jovial voice of Albus Dumbledore, "to introduce some of our guests I choose some songs. First up are Arthur and Molly Weasley."

_Celine Dion ... If that's what it takes_

_You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls_

_You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home_

_You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside_

_I see it in your eyes_

_Even you face the night afraid and alone_

_That's why I'll be there_

_When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend_

_Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end_

_Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make_

_Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes_

_If that's what it takes_

_You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain_

_When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name_

_'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above_

_You've given me your love_

_When YOU smile like the sun that shines through the rain_

_That's why I'll be there_

_When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend_

_Ev'ry beat of my heart, ev'ry day without end_

_I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break_

_Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes_

_I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed_

_I will lay down my life, if that's what you need_

_Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make_

_Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes_

_Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire_

_When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher_

_I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul_

_I will hold on all night and never let go_

_Ev'ry second I live, that's the promise I make_

_Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes_

_If that's what it takes_

_whatever it takes, whatever it takes_

_If that's what it takes_

_whatever, whatever, whatever it takes_


	18. Fred & George Weasley

_**Fred & George Weasley**_

Molly and Arthur Weasley were both too astounded to hear the slight snickering of the other arrivals near them. Molly's ears went scarlet red with embarrassment as she trembled ever so slightly. Arthur too was more than a bit embarrassed but couldn't abide the feeling that the old man had got his relationship with Molly right. He took one step to the side and closer to Molly, wrapping one arm possessively around her hips. Still burning up with shame, Molly stepped quickly out of his embrace and went straight into the Great Hall in search of her children.

Ron saw his mother coming through the double-door, adorned with flaming cheeks and a somewhat haunted look on her face. He too found it hard to look anyone in the eyes. It had been bad enough to have to listen to Dumbledore's first song about his mother and now the old coddler had done it again. His own cheeks were flaming. Looking at his siblings he found the same embarrassment on their faces. They were all a bit uncomfortable sitting next to their parents.

George, though, looked up when his mother sat next to them and squeezed her shoulders with one arm around her. He smiled at her and nodded encouragingly. Molly smiled shyly back. Not one of her younger children had ever seen her in a mood that could be described as shy.

Arthur sat down next to his wife and brushed his arm along hers. Softly his leg bumped against hers and he rested a hand on her knee. Molly jerked a little and looked up into his eyes with a worried expression in her brown eyes. He loved those eyes. It was believed that the eyes were the windows into a person's soul. That was definitely true for Molly. Caressing her cheek softly with his hand, he stroked her cheekbones and temples. Molly's eyes closed in bliss and her lips curled into a beautiful smile. She kissed the palm of his hand before taking it into hers and holding onto it.

"You know ... this song was actually perfect for us", said Arthur quietly. "I love you."

Molly smiled at him with love in her eyes and forgetting every other person in the castle. Only Arthur and Molly remained.

"I love you too, Arthur."

----

The rest of the Saturday lunch went by uneventful. But before anyone could get out, speakers appeared yet again all around the Great Hall.

"Hello everyone! Enjoyed your meal? Our wonderful house-elves are to thank for that", Albus Dumbledore's voice said, magnified by magic to three times its normal volume. "Another thing we have to be thankful for are our children. Here is a message from three houses and especially our two resident troublemakers. Jane, I advise you to listen very carefully to Another Brick in the Wall Part 2 from Pink Floyd."

_We don't need no education  
We don't need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave them kids alone  
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!  
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.  
All in all you're just another brick in the wall._

We don't need no education  
We don_'t need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave them kids alone  
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!  
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.  
All in all you're just another brick in the wall._

_"Wrong, Do it again!"  
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you  
have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"  
"You! Yes, you behind the bikesheds, stand still laddy!"_


	19. Narcissa Malfoy

2

_**Narcissa Malfoy**_

Fred and George grinned cheekily at each other and then at Lee Jordan. Their highly amused faces told Molly only too well that this song really had their approval. She glared fiercely at her twins. George grabbed his chest and pretended to fall off his chair, making horrible gurgling noises. Molly closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. Fred only laughed harder upon seeing his twin brother making funny, smart-arse stand-up comedy.

Arthur laughed as well but shut up immediately when he caught his wife's eye. She certainly didn't that song was funny.

"Boys, I'm warning you!" hissed Molly threateningly, glaring at Fred now because George showed himself unimpressed.

"But why, Molly?" boomed Albus Dumbledore's happy voice through the Great Hall. "I like that song. Actually I'm considering to make it our new school hymen ... well, as long as Dolores Umbridge is in charge here anyway."

This statement was greeted with applause and a general uproar of approval from the student body. The twins' song was the hit for the rest of the day. Every student (except the Slytherins) sung the song on the very top of their lungs whenever they met Umbridge in corridors and in their dormitories to amuse each other. Fred and George Weasley were heroes because with their pranks they made life hell for Umbridge and now they had inspired Dumbledore to this song.

Lee Jordan threw them a mayor party up in Gryffindor Tower, far away from the parents' quarters and hoping that McGonagall was too busy with them (demanding meetings to discuss their children).

----

The next morning dawned brightly. Everyone was up, wanting to give a good impression in front of their parents, and impressed their teachers with unusually good behaviour. Only the Gryffindors felt under the weather. Their parents and teachers observed them carefully, not really sure what to do with their gloomy faces and tired eyes with bags under them.

But suddenly the morning routine was interrupted (yet again) by Albus Dumbledore.

"Not only do the Weasleys have songs to show their best characteristics. Now I present another extraordinary witch. Her family is one of the richest and oldest families in the Wizarding Community. She was a shy young girl here in Hogwarts. Now she has returned to Hogwarts as mother of another of our assets. Narcissa Malfoy is represented by the song "Uptown Girl" from Billy Joel."

_Uptown girl  
She's been living in her uptown world  
I bet she's never had a backstreet guy  
I bet her momma never told her why_

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl  
She's been living in her white bread world  
As long as anyone with hot blood can  
And now she's looking for a downtown man  
That's what I am

And when she knows what  
She wants from her type  
And when she wakes up  
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough  
Just because  
I'm in love with an uptown girl  
You know I've seen her in her uptown world  
She's getting tired of her high class toys  
And all her presents from her uptown boys  
She's got a choice

Uptown girl  
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls  
But maybe someday when my ship comes in  
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been  
And then I'll win

And when she's walking  
She's looking so fine  
And when she's talking  
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough  
Just because  
I'm in love  
With an uptown girl  
She's been living in her white bread world  
As long as anyone with hot blood can  
And now she's looking for a downtown man  
That's what I am

Uptown girl  
She's my uptown girl  
You know I'm in love  
With an uptown girl


	20. Lucius Malfoy

_**Lucius Malfoy**_

For a moment the Slytherin table was completely silent. Then Both Draco and Lucius jumped to their feet with growls of disapproval. There were snickers throughout the Great Hall. Most of them came from the children Draco had tormented but their parents were silent. They sure as hell didn't want to get on Lucius Malfoy's wrong side. Laughing at his wife would surely do the trick. Even now the man shot angry glances across the room, daring anyone to say something.

Narcissa Malfoy though sat quietly at the table with her eyes fixed onto the tabletop. Her cheek held a faint blush and her face held an embarrassed and very uncomfortable expression. Her ears were ringing from the snickering of the student body and the deafening silence of the adults. Desperately she hoped for a hole to appear and swallow her. She just hated public events such as this. The only reason she went to the Ministry functions was her husband and his constant threats that it was her duty as his wife and he would make her suffer if she didn't fulfil her duties.

Apparently it showed. Molly Weasley looked over from the Gryffindor table and shot her a sympathetic look. Her eyes were very soft as she looked at her and Narcissa instantly felt comforted.

Arthur Weasley on the other hand sat next to his wife and snickered into his napkin. His brightly red face was indicator for his silent laughter and the way his shoulders heaved told Narcissa the rest. The Weasley children certainly seemed to enjoy themselves as well.

"Quit snickering, you blithering idiots!" snarled Lucius loud enough so that the whole Hall could hear.

Quickly all the snickering stopped. Most of the students remembered the article about Harry's events in the graveyard last summer and the list of death-eater names he had given Rita Skeeter. Lucius Malfoy's name had been right on top of that list and most students were afraid of finding out what that man was capable of.

"You will not intimidate my students!" boomed the angry and challenging voice of Albus Dumbledore as if released by a howler.

Lucius cringed away from the sound and looked around frantically as if expecting to see the former headmaster standing there between the students. When he didn't see Dumbledore standing anywhere near him, he sneered in the most horrible way.

"And what will you do, old man? You can't come here and defend them or you'll be arrested on the spot. I win!"

"You'll never win!" yelled Harry, jumping from his seat on the bench and glaring fiercely at the father of his foe.

"Harry, thank you so much for your support but let me handle it my way", said Dumbledore before music set in. "This is Franz Ferdinand and 'Evil and a Heathen'."

_Words fall from my mouth  
Like plates from shaking hands  
Smash upon the silence  
Of the smooth naked canal_

I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm a heathen and evil like you  
There's not a lot  
Not a lot I couldn't do

I like how you pretend  
That the end will be the end  
So fill your thirst  
Drink a curse  
To the death of death instead

I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm a heathen and evil like you  
There's not a lot  
Not a lot I wouldn't do

Utrecht led me to the Sacre Coeur  
Where the smoke curled round  
Now the ice blows of Lake Michigan  
When the ice blows  
The ice flows knocks you down

Your teeth are black with wine  
As you place those lips on mine  
And the moon hangs heavy and forbidden high  
On the night of our lives

I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm evil and a heathen  
I'm a heathen and evil like you  
There's not a lot  
Not a lot we couldn't do


	21. Fleur & Bill

_**Fleur Delacour & Bill Weasley  
**_

Lucius gasped for air in indignation and his fists clenched and unclenched spasmodically. His eyes were bulging out and his lips were tightly pressed together. He couldn't believe Albus Dumbledore would have the galls to insult him publicly in this manner! This song was absolutely below the waistline!

Narcissa cringed away from her husband. She knew exactly what to expect later that day. Lucius would take his anger out on her and probably go down to Hogsmead, apparate to the nearest muggle village and run rampage through the landscape, jinxing every muggle left and right. Why had Dumbledore run this song?

Draco looked at his father cautiously, recognizing the pure loathing in his father's eyes. He saw his mother cringe away slightly and felt the urge to do the same but instead he stood firm and raised his chin. The Malfoys were always proud and didn't show their fear.

Lucius Malfoy glared at the nearest speaker and spoke in an icy cold voice.

"Being evil and a heathen depends on the point of view. For my friends I am a hero."

He stood tall and defiant, not showing his inner turmoil over being exposed like that in front of a large group.

"I doubt that, Lucius, but let's not dwell on the past – shouldn't do for you to relive years of masquerading and betraying your 'friends'", Dumbledore shot back.

Lucius' mouth opened and closed without words coming out of it. He was more furious than ever and his eyes shot angry glances to everyone stupid enough to meet his gaze. He was livid with anger and needed to vent it on someone. Finally his gaze lingered on Mrs. Weasley and her husband, surrounded by their children. Even the third son had shown up to give a good impression and try to play happy family.

Once while they had been in school together Lucius had tried to charm Molly Prewett to annoy her boyfriend Arthur. Those Weasleys popped up everywhere like mushrooms and messed with everything. Ever since Richard Weasley had infiltrated the Ministry and enforced the protection of muggles against infringements from wizards, the Malfoys had made it their top priority to make life living hell for the Weasleys.

Just as he was about to approach them, another speaker appeared in front of his nose and blared into his face.

"No stupid ideas, Lucius. Besides I have a special message for Bill Weasley from his girlfriend."

_Wedding Bell Blues – 5__th__ Generation_

_Bill, I love you so, I always will  
I look at you and see the passion eyes of May  
Oh, but am I ever gonna see my wedding day  
I was on your side Bill when you were loosin'  
I never scheme or lie Bill, there's been no foolin'  
But kisses and love won't carry me till you marry me Bill_

_I love you so, I always will  
And in your voice I hear a choir of carousels  
Oh, but am I ever gonna hear my wedding bells  
I was the one who came runnin' when you were lonely  
I haven't lived one day not lovin' you only  
But kisses and love won't carry me til you marry me Bill_

_I love you so, I always will  
And though devotion rules my heart I take no bows  
But Bill you're never gonna take those wedding vows  
Oh, come on Bill  
Oh, come on Bill  
Come on and marry me Bill  
I got the wedding bell blues  
Please marry me Bill  
I got the wedding bell blues  
Marry me Bill_


	22. Augusta Longbottom & Andromeda Tonks

A./N.: Hi guys, it's me again. This is the last chapter if you don't come open with some character you really want to hear a song about. This one popped into my head a couple of weeks ago but I wanted to introduce other mothers than the obvious Molly Weasley. :) So here is the link to see the clip for this song. IT'S SO HILARIOUS!!!!!

.com/watch?v=kWmrCJGtAso

Enjoy and review please!

_**Augusta Longbottom & Andromeda Tonks**_

Augusta Longbottom hadn't been in Hogwarts for a long time. Of course she had stayed in contrast with her classmates and then had taken immense interest in the school again as her son had attended. Now she followed the school's activities through her grandson but it wasn't the same as actually going to school in Hogwarts.

As soon as she had stepped through the wide-open double doors she had been forcefully reminded of all the happy times she had spend in these lustrous halls. But almost immediately unwanted tears gathered in her eyes and she swiped at them angrily at them. Frank should be here and support Neville, not she, the stern, formidable grandmother. Alice should proudly beam at Neville and hug him instead of the rather cold greeting his grandmother bestowed on him.

She could see clearly that Neville wanted his parents and again she cursed Bellatrix Lestrange and her cronies.

----

Andromeda and her daughter strolled leisurely through the corridors and greeted schoolmates, friends and fellow parents. Tonks had begged her mother to let her visit Harry since he had no blood relatives anymore or better yet come with her and surprise the boy. Sirius had backed his great-cousin up and finally convinced Andromeda to go in his stead since she too was a Black but not a haunted convict. She hadn't been able to deny him then and had agreed to stand in as Harry's family along with the Weasleys.

But then this morning a large, black dog had raced down the stairs of Grimmauld Place Number 12 and joined her and Tonks at the door. The entire Order in residence had tried to talk him out of this madness but Sirius had persisted and solved the matter by simply walking out the door and apparating in front of the iron gate of Hogwarts.

Andromeda and Tonks could only apparate after him and make sure he didn't do something even more moronic.

"Sirius, I swear if you do something, ANYTHING, that isn't dog-like, I'll hex you into the next millennia", hissed Andromeda quietly but firmly. It was no empty threat.

Sirius had enough common sense to nod his head eagerly and lean against his cousin's leg, begging for forgiveness. Tonks chuckled softly and led the way up to the castle.

----

Harry was more than surprised to see Tonks in Hogwarts. Raising his eyebrow quisitively, he walked forward and wanted to shake hands none the less but Tonks wrapped her arms around him and whispered in his ear.

"Mum and I are here as your stand-in family. We thought you shouldn't be alone on parents' day at school. And we brought your dog along."

Suddenly Harry felt a wet nose being pressed against his hand, hanging loosely by his side. He nearly jumped a foot high and yelped but could stop himself in time.

"Hi Snuffles, you're a good boy, aren't you?" he greeted his Animagus godfather. "I've missed you."

Ron and Hermione came over as well and patted the black dog enthusiastically and were quickly joined first by Ginny and the twins and then all of Harry's classmates.

"I didn't know you had a dog, Harry!"

Soon Andromeda, Tonks, Harry and their carnal companion were walking around the lake. Not long and Harry noticed that Neville and his grandmother had had the same idea. Neville seemed sad and his grandma clearly uncomfortable and out of place. Somehow Harry could understand his friend. Their relatives and friends meant well but they couldn't replace their parents.

----

Andromeda had taken as much as she could and then some. Harry had tried to be jolly and nice but she had seen right through him. He missed his parents terribly and was constantly reminded of his loss through her presence.

Claiming she had to use the loo, Andromeda hastily excused herself and rushed off.

"Wow, she sure left in a hurry! What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?" asked Harry, worry clearly visible in every line of his face.

"Mum will be fine", assured Tonks but her brows were furrowed.

----

In the nearest bathroom Andromeda bumped into a warm soft someone who was obviously crying. As she raised her eyes to examine her companion in misery, she realised that she had run head first into the formidable Augusta Longbottom. Never before had she seen her crying and immediately her heart went out to the other woman. After all they shared the same fate ... they were both fake mothers for a day.

----

Hello everyone!

It's me again ... and I can hear you groaning. Kindly do stop. You're hurting my feelings.

Something very important has come to my attention. Among us are two incredible women. They care deeply for a child that is not theirs. Both are stand-in mothers ... (and incredibly talented ones two.)

Please give them a big hand. Here is Augusta Longbottom in the role of Carol Burnett and Andromeda Tonks in the role of Julie Andrews with the song "Mama's Rap".

(Harry, Neville, listen closely!)

_When the world's too much and the brain's too full_

_And we've had it up here about the hype and a bull_

_What'd you do what the kids do is rap to a rhytmic beat_

_Now if the kids can rap about all this stuff_

_Then why not the mamas_

_We've taken enough_

_It's mama's turn to rap tonight_

_Kids take a seat_

_Do all the mothers out there feel squeezed out_

_Stepped cold_

_Stereotyped_

_Pigeonholed_

_Stamped upon_

_Shuttled aside_

_Ignored put down_

_Disqualified_

_Aha_

_They do_

_Then Mama's gonna rap tonight_

_We can feel the heat_

_Let's start with the family_

_Starting everything_

_I'm the mother_

_I am the adolescent daughter_

_Well the first time it happens_

_It comes as a shock_

_When your daughter talks about_

_Your biological clock_

_She said_

_Like wow mom you gave me a scare_

_For a minute there I thought I saw one grey hair_

_Only one my dear_

_Oh no mama no please mama_

_No mama please say it isn't so_

_Good heavens dear heart_

_Settle down a hold on_

_It's grose bweh the good years are gone_

_That's really weird_

_You must wanna cry_

_The day I find a grey hair I'll die_

_Wel chill out baby_

_Your mama's not ill_

_I know mama poor mama over the hill_

_Poor mama_

_Poor mama_

_Poor poor mama_

_A department store_

_I am the customer_

_And I am the clerk in her teens_

_Eh excuse me swimsuits_

_For you on the second floor_

_Ooh I like this suit_

_You do who for_

_These are junior sizes 3-5-7-0_

_Well I'm sure this will fit_

_This will be just fine_

_This is a bikini_

_Sarah Moritz: Wouldn't you prefer a sheath_

_The bikini's for my daughter_

_I'm lying through my teeth_

_I'll slip it on_

_We wear the same size clothes_

_There's the dressing room_

_I wonder if she knows_

_It's not your site_

_I always wear a nine_

_That'll look skimpy_

_The suit will be just fine_

_For my daughter_

_Ah-uh_

_The bikini seize nine was a perfect fit_

_And I couldn't wait to prove it to that little twit_

_I love it it's perfect_

_It's all the rage_

_How do I look_

_Good for your age_

_Swimsuits for the young_

_And sweats for the young_

_Hot boots for the young_

_Cassettes for the young_

_CDs for the young_

_Hot jeans for the young_

_Hot cars for the young_

_Magazines for the young_

_What for mama_

_Nothing mama's a fool_

_Mama's unglued unhip uncool_

_Mama's run ruggy_

_Mama's run dry_

_Guess we run the hold kiss mama goodbye_

_Poor mama_

_Poor mama_

_Poor poor mama_

_An interview_

_I am the young interviewer_

_And I am the old interviewee_

_I'm me_

_Do you really live alone_

_Yes indeed__ I do_

_Oh I'm so sorry_

_So sorry for you_

_Sorry I love bein' on my own_

_I don't like bein' lonely_

_I like bein' alone_

_I've always been a mother_

_or a daughter or a wife_

_And it's wonderful to batch it_

_For the first time in my life_

_I can do whatever what_

_Whatever dressed in old jeans_

_I can take out old unions and re-fried beans_

_Woo_

_Oh you must find it lonely_

_Being single again_

_At your age don't you find_

_That there's that shortage of men_

_Come one don't you long to be married once more_

_Well of course_

_If he promises to live next-door_

_Poor mama_

_Poor mama_

_Poor poor mama_

_Another mother-daughter_

_I am the mother this time_

_And I am the daughter this time_

_Pre-teen_

_Here's your cardigan ma_

_Oh thank you dear_

_But I really don't need it_

_Since summer's here_

_Did your blouse have a button_

_Oh I think so yup_

_Mama please button it up_

_But darling_

_It's really warm in these rooms_

_What's bothering you_

_Mom your bosoms_

_My bosoms_

_They'll see them_

_Who_

_Mother my guests_

_Since when is a mother not supposed to have breasts_

_Katie's mum wore a T-shirt_

_And everybody died_

_Well I'm sorry_

_My bosoms are rather hard to hide_

_Mom you look sexy_

_Well who'd have believed_

_It's time you knew that_

_You were not divinely conceived_

_Aaaaaaaaaagh_

_Poor mama_

_Poor mama_

_Poor poor mama_

_Poor mama has lost it_

_She's 'round the bend_

_This is the beginning of mama's end_

_Do we put her out to bask and never roam_

_Do we park the old dear in the old folks home_

_Used up_

_Gone cold_

_De-sexed_

_Too old_

_Washed up_

_All in_

_1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8_

_2 2 3 4 5 6 7 8_

_The truth is mama_

_The truth is mama_

_Mama is better than mama has ever been_

_Hey mama's a little greyer_

_Hey nothing wrong with greyer_

_Say greyer can be hotter_

_Think of the burn when mama turns white_

_So don't you worry 'bout mama mama_

_Mama's all right_

_Slow, mama's a little slower_

_Wow, nothing wrong with slower_

_No slower can be better_

_Mama's no longer spinning her wheels_

_So don't you worry 'bout mama_

_Mama_

_Mama_

_The longer it takes_

_The better it feels_

_Now don't you listen_

_When the world cries 'youth'_

_And dares you to live it again_

_Just hang in there mama_

_Now listen to the truth_

_If we can have now_

_We'll finish with then_

_Good_

_Mama would not go back if she could_

_Mama's feeling too damn good_

_Mama is a winner_

_Mama is making music tonight_

_So don't you worry 'bout mama_

_Mama_

_Mama_

_Mama_

_Mama's all right_

_Mama's all right_

_Mama's all right_

_Mama's all right_


	23. Percy Weasley

_**Percy Weasley**_

After the live performance of Augusta and Andromeda there was a moment of silence until the whole Hall erupted in howls of encouragement, applause, laughter and cheers. Only one or two Slytherins had the bravery to boo at the two witches on stage. But surprisingly enough, those were shut up by their mother.

Harry and Neville had both cast their eyes down and looked rather uncomfortable. Molly eyed both boys and immediately picked up on the embarrassment of them. She could easily picture her own boys' reaction if she had been the one on stage. But suddenly Neville jumped up and raced to his grandmother, hugging her tightly to himself and whispering something into her ear. Harry, too, stood up and walked over to Andromeda. He hugged her briefly and thanked her for coming.

Molly and Andromeda shared a knowing glance. They were well aware of Harry's feelings today. Of course he would miss his real parents. How could he not under the circumstances? But he was also appreciative that his friends and their families let him join in their circle and be part of their lives.

----

Umbridge had observed the parents' day program methodically. She was beside herself with rage that Dumbledore had 'ruined everything' with his 'stupid, childish, idiotic, immature and absolutely ridiculous show of resistance'. Her name usually stood for perfection but this old coddler had to drag her reputation through the mud. She was yelling at her subordinates.

"You are incompetents! This castle is a building and as such has limited space, even though it's a magical building! I don't care what you do as long as you find that man! WEASLEY!!! Come here!" yelled Umbridge at the top of her voice, sounding nothing like a simmering schoolgirl but rather a very annoyed harpy. "Your family is here so get on their good side and ask them if they have a clue about Dumbledore's whereabouts. And you were in school with Potter so ask him too. Pump them for information and use all means necessary!"

----

Albus Dumbledore's voice rang out through the corridor in which Percy sat and tried to think of a way to approach Harry and his family. The thought of their reaction to him and his questions made him shudder. His family had never understood him and his ambitions. They were happy to be poor and scum in the eyes of others but Percy wanted to be on top and rich. He never again wanted to wear second hand clothes while everyone else laughed behind his back. He never again wanted to go without anything. Now his ears perked up.

"Hello, Percy, how are you today?" the headmaster's voice asked but rattled on without giving Percy a chance to answer. "I know about Umbridge's plan and let me tell you now that no matter how hard you try you won't find me. But why have you turned out the way you did?"

This time Albus let him answer. Percy threw back his head defiantly and glared at the solitary speaker hanging in the air.

"Ever since I came to Hogwarts I was confronted with the pity and condescension. Everyone looked down on me and sneered at me because of my old, patched-up cloths and my used books, old wand, rusted kettle and because I had no money to spend in Hogsmead", Percy confided into the old man with bitterness in his voice and hatred in his eyes. "I only ever wanted to learn and get a well-paid job. A job which allowed me to get rich and influential. I wanted to prove myself to everyone. And my mother was always so proud of me. But my father always liked the others more. Of course! They were happy with being poor and nobodies. Hogwarts showed me how to use my magic and intellect to make my life better. All the teachers told me that I could get absolutely everything if I focused my mind on it and stayed logical and in control of my magic."

"I see", said Albus' voice. He sounded sad and almost broken. "I'm truly sorry that we gave you that impression.

----

Hello folks!

I have a special message for two people.

The first message is for Umbridge: Keep your hands off my students, former or current ones! If you mess with their heads or make them sacrifice everything or turn against family and friends, I will make your life hell! So butt out before I kick you!

Secondly I like to address Percy Weasley. But I think I do it best with a song.

_When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,  
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.  
And all the birds in the trees, well they__'d be singing so happily,  
Joyfully, playfully watching me.  
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,  
Logical, responsible, practical.  
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,  
Clinical, intellectual, cynical._

There are times when all the worlds asleep,  
The questions run too deep  
For such a simple man.  
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned  
I know it sounds absurd  
But please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,  
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.  
Won't you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're  
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!

At night, when all the worlds asleep,  
The questions run so deep  
For such a simple man.  
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned  
I know it sounds absurd  
But please tell me who I am.


	24. Poppy Pomfrey

A./N.: There is a video on youtube for that song. The link is in my profile.

_**Poppy Pomfrey**_

Some days had passed by and normality (as much as was possible under the command of Dolores Umbridge) had returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The parents had left, not so silently. They had began to question Umbridge and her regime on the school. Some of the younger children had told their parents about her punishments and the older children had added her abuse of power and her incompetence as a teacher. All the parents of Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had begun to exchange their children's stories and were beginning to wish for Dumbledore back. The Slytherin parents, though, were very content with Umbridge's handling of the situation.

Albus Dumbledore paced his office with angry strides. Umbridge was causing havoc wherever she went and intimidated, threatened and abused his children. Late last night he had visited the Hospital Wing. More students than ever before occupied the beds. Poppy had been exhausted from all the healing she had to perform on her charges.

He had approached her quietly and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing softly. Poppy had turned around in surprise and gasped at the sight of him standing before her without even a Glamour-Charm or disguise or Invisibility Cloak. He had stroked her dissolving bun and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her head softly against his shoulder. Then Poppy had succumbed to her emotional exhaustion and sobbed into his purple cloak. She had hid her face in the material to stifle the sounds of despair escaping her, and her shoulders had shook violently in an effort to hold in the sobs.

It pained Albus to think how much Poppy must suffer along with her charges. All the teachers were emotional about their students but Poppy was so especially. She saw them in their time of need, when they were sick and heart-broken. Most students trusted her more than their Heads of House.

Deciding to check on her more often, he drew a circle in the air with his wand. The air within rippled and coloured. The image of the Hospital Wing materialized in the magical circle.

Poppy was going from bed to bed slowly, checking on each patient with care. A young girl from Slytherin, in her first year at Hogwarts, silently cried for her mother in a bed at the far end of the room. Another young girl, Albus recognized her as a Ravenclaw third year, leaned over to her and smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Madam Pomfrey is very nice and lovable. She really cares for all of us and makes no difference between the houses. She is a very good step-in-mummy ..."

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say. You two are both Ravenclaws after all," a Slytherin sixth year interrupted and sneered menacingly at the Ravenclaw.

Poppy was quick to scold the boy, though, and came over to him with a deep frown on her forehead. "That is quiet enough, Mr. Westley," she said sharply and turned her attention then on his broken wrist with perhaps a little less care than with the others.

Albus snickered along with Ms. Fletcher and Ms. Marshal and flicked his wand subconsciously.

----

Minerva sat in the Great Hall at dinner when suddenly a circle of magic appeared in front of her. When the circle stretched she recognized the Hospital Wing and Poppy leaning over a young girl. She also recognized Albus' magic in the circle. It was a common game between the two of them, showing each other random things which amused them.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Poppy's voice.

"Never worry, you will be skipping around in no time. Your twisted ankle heals just fine," she told the girl and stroked away a strand of hair out of her face.

"And what do you know about 'skipping around'. You're like ... a hundred years old."

"Oh, now, I'm not as old as that," she scolded distractedly still bending over Ms. Marshal. And then she began to sing quietly.

_I'm holding back the hands of time_

_And though a fool might say I passed my prime_

_My heart has always clung_

_To staying almost young._

_A few grey hairs, a few gold teeth_

_Can never hide the kid that's underneath_

_The kid whose hopes are hung_

_On staying almost young._

_My walk is swift and sporty_

_My disposition is evergreen_

_Why say I'm over forty,_

_I'm over seventy._

_I still have all the speed it takes,_

_when all the others have applied the breaks_

_and when my mill has run_

_I'll still be strutting and kicking like some little chicken._

_I'm almost young._

"I hope you're almost finished," muttered Kent Westley.

"Not a chance, kiddo," Poppy grinned back.

_So if you think this spunky pup._

_Is either broken-down or slow and up_

_You better hold your tongue._

_I'm feeling almost young._

"See, I told you." Katie elbowed Sarah Marshal and grinned broadly.

_My bones are often racked-up,_

_They always act up each time it rains._

_But my arthritis or my phlebitis are simply growing pains._

_So let them say I passed my peak,_

_That I'm a million years from hide-and-seek_

_But when my b__irch is sung_

_I'll still be strung as a fiddle,_

_And strutting and kicking like some little chicken._

_I'm almost ..._

Poppy paused for dramatic effect until she had all the children's attention. "Come on, Madam Pomfrey!"

_... young._


	25. Narcissa Malfoy 2

_**Narcissa Malfoy**_

The school erupted in laughter after Madam Pomfrey's singing. Cheers and whoops were heard from all tables, even the Slytherin one, for she was, perhaps, the only adult loved and respected in all four houses. None of the other teachers could say that of themselves but Madam Pomfrey never made a difference between the houses and since the Hospital Wing was neutral territory all students could behave free of prejudices for once and bond with students of other houses. As soon as they left the Hospital Wing again they would go back to their normal routine, as if by common consent.

All the children in the Hospital Wing were cheering as well, laughing and whooping merrily, forgetting their pain entirely. Some of them even leaving their bed and hugging the matron. Madam Pomfrey didn't seem to have the heart to scold them. She only smiled indulgently and blushed slightly at her exhibition. She knew she would never live that one down.

----

Draco Malfoy was walking through the corridors of the school and scowled at everyone crossing his way. He was still deeply offended by Dumbledore's songs for his parents. All the other children were talking about the songs, teasing a little but mostly it was intrigued and provoked questions. But none of the children dared to talk to him about his parents and their songs.

He thought he heard sniggering behind him but as he whirled around no one was there ... no one but a speaker.

"Hello there," said the cheerful voice of Albus Dumbledore. "How are you today, Draco?"

"What do you want?" Draco snapped, not showing his usual respect fro the Headmaster to the speaker.

"Well, I guess that's a fair question. I flatter myself to say that I know your parents better than you do, boy. Your father is not the hero you make him out to be and your mother ... well, you must understand her up-bringing and her way of thinking. Since you, most likely, won't ask her I give you a little inside. Agreed?"

Not waiting for an answer, a song drifted through the corridors.

Ils veulent m'offrir des voitures, They want to buy me cars  
des bijoux et des fourrures Jewels and fur coats  
Toi jamais You never!  
Mettre à mes pieds leur fortune They promise me a fortune  
Et me décrocher la lune And also the moon  
Toi jamais You never  
Et chaque fois qu'ils m'appellent, And every time they call  
ils me disent que je suis belle They tell me I'm beautiful

Toi jamais You never  
Ils m'implorent et m'adorent They pray to me and worship me  
Mais pourtant moi je les ignore Yet I ignore them  
Tu le sais You know

Homme, Man,

Tu n'es qu'un homme you're a man  
Comme les autres like any man  
je le sais I know  
Et comme And because

Tu es mon homme you're my man,  
Je te pardonne I forgive you  
Et toi jamais You never

Ils inventent des histoires, They make up stories  
Que je fais semblant de croire And I pretend to believe them  
Toi jamais You never  
Ils me jurent fidélité They promise to be faithful forever  
jusqu'au bout de l'éternité Till the end of time  
Toi jamais You never

Et quand ils me parlent d'amour And when they tell me they love me  
ils ont trop besoin de discours They need too many words  
Toi jamais You never  
Je me fous de leur fortune I don't care for their fortune  
Qu'ils laissent là Let them send that  
où est la lune to the moon  
sans regret Without regret!

Homme, Man,  
Tu n'es qu'un homme you're a man  
Comme les autres like any man  
je le sais I know  
Et comme And because  
Tu es mon homme you're my man  
Je te pardonne I forgive you  
Et toi jamais You never

Tu as tous les défauts que j'aime You have all the defects I love  
Et des qualités bien cachées And good qualities deep inside  
Tu es un homme, et moi, je t'aime You are a man, and I love you  
Et ça ne peux pas s'expliquer And no one can explain why

Car homme Cause man,  
Tu n'es qu'un homme you're a man  
Comme les autres like any man  
je le sais I know  
Et comme And because

Tu es mon homme you're my man  
je te pardonne I forgive you  
Et toi And you  
jamais Never


	26. Minerva & Albus

_**Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore**_

Hermione, Harry and Ron met in the Common Room late at night per Hermione's request. Ron was grumpy and dragged himself to the nearest armchair, collapsing onto it. Harry on the other hand was wide awake. He thought that Hermione had finally figured out where Dumbledore was hiding.

"Have you guys noticed something fishy?" she asked after a while (Ron had nearly fallen asleep again) and looked from Harry to Ron, who scrambled to his feet to appear awake.

"Fishy? ... You mean fishier than Umbridge grabbing more and more power wherever she can, the teachers' nerves being stretched to the thinnest, Dumbledore driven from school and in hiding but in open rebellion? ... Do I have to say more?"

Harry's voice dripped sarcasm and Ron only rolled his eyes heavenwards but refused to answer such an idiotic question. Hermione, though, glared at the boys in her best imitation of Professor McGonagall.

"What I mean," she said slowly as if explaining the obvious, "is if you noticed McGonagall acting ... well, kinda strange."

Ron stared at her as if she had grown a second head. "I know that you worship McGonagall and the ground she walks on but still ..."

"I do NOT worship Professor McGonagall," Hermione spat at Ron, nearly stabbing the boy with her glare. "But you have to admit that she seems ... preoccupied, not focused on her classes as is usual for her. Something is worrying her. And I for one would very much like to know what it is."

"And you don't think that it has to do with Umbridge, Hermione," Harry shot back sarcastically. Ron snorted in the background.

"Well, yes," admitted Hermione reluctantly, "but not entirely. She visibly cringes when Dumbledore's speakers appear and she is looking around the room as if expecting him to stand in a corner, smirking, and for some reason she seems afraid of exactly that."

Now she had the boys' rapt attention. Both were listening intently. Ron often complained about their Head of House, her strictness, her coldness and often harsh behaviour but he held deep respect for her and would defend her from criticism of others. He had been raised by his parents, especially by his mother, to run to the defence of a lady in distress. Harry on the hand was not only contemplating the news but also how to get proof for their suspicions. Slowly a small grin full of mischief spread across his face. Hermione cringed inwardly; she knew Harry and his ideas too well.

"What?" she asked, perhaps a bit too aggressively.

The grin, if possible, widened. "Oh nothing ... just that maybe it's time to unpack me dad's old cloak."

Ron immediately jumped out of his armchair, fully awake now. "Let's go! What're we waiting for?"

Hermione heaved a sigh, all hopes for a serious discussion with the boys blown out the window.

"Oh alright ... but be careful!"

"Hey, does anyone know the password for McGonagall's rooms?" Ron asked and sneered at Hermione, who stuck her tongue out at him.

Harry had run upstairs and gotten his Invisibility Cloak, now he flared it out and let it settle over them.

----

Sneaking through Hogwarts was never trouble for the experienced trio and soon they stood in front of the teacher's lounge. As luck would have it, the door opened and Pomona Sprout came out.

"Care for a nightcap, Minerva?" she called over her shoulder.

"Don't mind if I do," answered their stern professor.

The sight of her walking out of the lounge made the boys gawking at her. Her hair was down and her outer robes hung open to reveal a burgundy blouse and black skirt to just under her knees. She seemed utterly relaxed and carefree to the boys but Hermione nudged them and indicated the tense shoulder muscles and frown-wrinkles on the teacher's face.

"She seems ... frazzled," Hermione muttered sympathetically.

The boys only nodded. Then Harry nudged the others. "At least we now know that we have about an hour before she gets back to her rooms."

Ron nodded again and Hermione began to bite her nails. She was not at all comfortable with sneaking into their Head's rooms and look for any secrets Minerva McGonagall might be hiding from her students.

----

Standing in front of McGonagall's rooms, Hermione made a last attempt to bring the boys to reason.

"Guys, this is a really bad idea. Let's go back to the Common Room, ok?" she pleaded but was dragged along by Ron, neither boy even answering.

"So what's the password?" Harry asked Hermione a bit impatiently.

"Courage," she whispered hesitantly but the portrait heard her nonetheless and swung open.

Neither Ron nor Harry had ever been in McGonagall's rooms and were awed by the sight. Somehow they had imagined a room with a bed and wardrobe not more, much like a nun's cell. But her rooms were spacious and richly decorated. The trio stood in the living room, held mostly in red and gold tones and more representative than cosy. Three doors led to other rooms. Hermione indicated the one to the right and explained, "This one leads to the kitchen ...," she turned to the door directly opposite them, "and there's the real living room. This here is more of a salon to entertain guests. Whatever you guys are looking for would be in there."

Harry immediately stirred towards the brown door and swiftly entered the room, towing Ron and Hermione with him.

"Wow," escaped Ron as he looked around the room.

It was cosily furnished with a large sofa in emerald green standing squarely in the middle of the room and two big armchairs flanking it on both sides. Bookshelves lined all walls and were not only filled with books but also with picture frames and nit nag.

Harry threw off the cloak and made a beeline to the nearest shelf. The picture frame on it held a photo of Minerva with some of her students. His eyes bugged out as he recognized his mother and the Marauders but before he could look more closely a loud shriek from Hermione caught his attention.

"What happened?" he asked, whirling around and scanning the room, ready to face an irate McGonagall.

Hermione just pointed, with a shaking finger, to an elaborate picture frame on the end table near the fireplace. Expecting something drastic, judging from Hermione's reaction, he crept forward until he could see the photo clearly.

"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed, shocked.

"I'll say," Harry agreed.

The photo showed a younger Minerva McGonagall in a beautiful wedding dress on the arm of none other than ...

"Albus Dumbledore," breathed Hermione.

"Bloody hell!"

"Ron, stop it!" Hermione hissed. Then her voice took on a dreamy tone, "but they look so cute together and so in love. Isn't it romantic? They are secretly married so that his enemies wouldn't harm her. Awww. I wonder if they have children."

Ron rolled his eyes at Hermione and her antics but Harry had to agree with her. It was kind of cute. It was also heart-warming to see a couple so much in love. Another photo showed the couple dance at their reception with McGonagall's elegant handwriting across it. It read "Like an old Love-song". He could maybe use that to make McGonagall feel better.

"Guys, let's go. I think I have an idea how to lighten the mood."

----

"Hello, hello to everybody. Today we decided to give a person close to our heart a personal message to make her feel better. Usually she is our tower of strength but today it is on us to look out for her. Enjoy the song (it's 'An old fashioned love song' from Three Dog Night) and keep your friends close."

Just an old-fashioned love song playin' on the radio

And wrapped around the music is the sound

Of someone promising they'll never go

You swear you've heard it before

As it slowly rambles on and on

No need in bringin' `em back,

`Cause they're never really gone

Just an old-fashioned love song

One I'm sure they wrote for you and me

Just an old-fashioned love song

Comin' down in 3-part harmony

To weave our dreams upon and listen to each evening

When the lights are low

To underscore our love affair

With tenderness and feeling that we've come to know

You swear you've heard it before

As it slowly rambles on and on and

No need in bringin' `em back,

`Cause they're never really gone

Just an old-fashioned love song

Comin' down in 3-part harmony

Just an old-fashioned love song

One I'm sure they wrote for you and me

Just an old-fashioned love song

Comin' down in 3-part harmony

Just an old-fashioned love song

One I'm sure they wrote for you and me

To weave our dreams upon and listening to a song . . .


End file.
